


Risks (Dasey AU)

by idkslytherin



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, F/M, Made For Each Other, Step-Sibling Romance, angsty teenagers, slow burn cause i hate myself, they just don't know it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2020-11-08 13:22:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20836169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idkslytherin/pseuds/idkslytherin
Summary: Boarding school AUMonths after moving in, George and Nora decide to take action in order to ease the constant fights between Casey and Derek. After being caught throwing a wild party, they reach a verdict: Derek and Casey had to change schools, more precisely, to a boarding school, where they would be without their family for months, forced to bond, and maybe something more...





	1. The Party

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my current Derek/Casey fanfic. Has it been years since the show ended? Yes. Do people still care about this ship? I sure hope so. Am I over this show and this angsty ship? Clearly not.
> 
> This work is also published on fanfiction.net, I'm the same person that posted it then, this is just a slightly edited version of that. Hope you enjoy!! Tell me anything about anything, I'm lonely and love to talk lol

Casey shifted uncomfortably on the floor, removing the last bits of shampoo from her forehead. Derek was curled up in front of her, holding his knees against his chest, trying to avoid touching the cold tiles with his bare feet. They had sat in silence for a strange amount of time, trying to decipher the noises coming from the party downstairs, which had somehow gotten quieter as time went by.

Derek let out a frustrated sigh, nervously licking and chewing on his bottom lip. He felt so unusually powerless; for once things weren't going his way, and for once he couldn't put the blame on anyone else. He was sure that was it: they were going to be busted by their parents and punished for so long, their hair would grey by the time they could go outside again. And Casey knew that too, because unless a bible-worthy miracle just happened to take place in their bathroom, there was really no way out of that situation; which is why she was so desperate to tell him off.

The temptation to attack him (with well crafted, logical arguments of course) was itching at her skin. He continuously misbehaved when strictly told not to, and it was driving the morally entitled side of Casey's brain absolutely crazy. The goal was to annoy him into remorse essentially, given the fact that she longed to hear him say he was wrong and that he regretted not following the rules. Casey wouldn't stop until she saw at least an apologetic glimpse in his dark eyes. Her head was screaming at her to finally get even, to treat him the same way he treated her every day, but something within her mind was holding her back. And whatever it was that was stopping her, was also making her feel something disgustingly close to _sympathy _for Derek. _How fucking insane- as if he deserves sympathy._

"I know you want to scold me." Derek mumbled, breaking the awkward silence that was just starting to feel comfortable "_Don't_. Leave it to George and Nora."

"I wasn't," Casey replied, disappointed that she allowed her voice to shake so much - Derek could always see through her bullshit. "Really."

"Oh, please." he huffed, staring at his hands "I bet you already have that condescending look printed on your face."

"You're wrong," she warned, after attempting to soften her own expression. "Look at me."

It was imposing as much as it was a gamble, and Derek's lack of response made her wonder if it had been the right move. In reality, Derek's inaction was simply due to a lack of courage. He didn't want to look at her. He was terrified of facing her and knowing what she was thinking, because he always seemed to know what she was thinking. In the last few months, Derek had studied her better than any subject, treating her like a mind puzzle or a side project that he admittedly spent too much time on. The ultimate goal was to make her predictable in his head, but any time he could annoy her into screaming was a bonus too.

Unfortunately for him, she could never become predictable. That was something he learned through their daily fights, when some days she would overreact and throw something at him, aiming specifically at his head (or dick), but others she would just smile at him before slamming the door in his face. Derek hated it when she did that; there was no pleasure in bothering Casey if she didn't look, well, _bothered_.

Now things were changing, and their patterns were evolving into something Derek didn't dare to analyze yet. Nonetheless, he was more curious than afraid. After a few seconds, that somehow felt like an eternity, his eyes met hers. Her focus was already on him, her stunning features captured by the ominous bathroom light. Casey felt her chest tightening, the direct result of their eye contact intensifying. She was scared it was quiet enough in there for Derek to hear her stupid rapid heartbeat, pulsating furiously in her ears. _Hesitation, _he thought.

Her eyes were reflecting all the light and his own doubts back at him, make them glow a cool shade of blue that reminded Derek of some white sand dreamy beach in California. _Didn't she always want to go to California?_

"Stop it," she finally breathed out "I feel like you're staring right through me."

"What are you afraid I'm going to find?" he questioned, his left eyebrow arching up.

"The Derek in me." Casey smirked, tapping her fingers nervously against her knee.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." he folded his arms across his chest, hiding his sly smile.

"It's what got us into this mess."

"Sometimes messy is good." Derek provoked her.

"You really don't know me at all." she playfully rolled her eyes, though she internally wished it was true. 

"I know more than you think." he immediately replied, regretting his answer "About a lot of things."

"Oh yeah?" he nodded and she continued, curious "Do tell."

"I know George and Nora are arriving in close to 3 minutes, and I know they're gonna find Edwin and Lizzie under your bed."

"3 minutes?" he nodded once more "We have 3 minutes before we're thrown into the fire pit?"

"Yes." Derek shrugged "And I also knew you'd be dramatic about it."

"As if." Casey shot him a serious glare.

"Probably shouldn't have thrown a party the first time our parents leave for the weekend, huh?" he sighed.

"Why did you?" she asked, hearing a slightly sad tone in his raspy voice.

"It's like people expect me to mess up, so I do."

"It was actually kinda fun though." she grinned, loosening her ponytail in an attempt to let her shampoo-drenched hair down.

"This was fun? For you?"

"Yes!" Casey laughed "I guess it's official; you've driven me crazy."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't a far drive." he smiled, hearing her soft laugh echo through the bathroom walls.

"It's pretty quiet downstairs, huh?" 

"Do you think the police came and cleared everybody out?" Derek asked, pretending like he wasn't scared shitless of that thought.

"Better them than our parents." Casey joked, before the door slammed open and a very shocked and upset George and Nora stood before them.

Her mother examined the stains that seemed to cover all the tiles, and the were dirty towels that had been thrown everywhere. Nora opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out as she fully noticed that her daughter and step-son were coated in shaving cream and shampoo. Casey glanced over at Derek, whose eyes were now wide and whose face had 'regret' written all over it. 

"Living room. NOW." George angrily spit out, pointing towards the door.

Nora exited along side her husband, who had put his arm around her, muttering something under his breath. Derek got up quickly, taking Casey's hand and pulling her up. He gave it a reassuring squeeze, before letting go as they went down to the living room. George was pacing around in circles, as Nora let out several frustrated sighs. It did look much worse than what Casey remembered, with broken furniture and trash spread around the room. 

"A study group, Derek?" George huffed in disbelief, rubbing his temples "As soon as we heard that, we immediately turned around. I shouldn't have trusted you, I really shouldn't. But I did. Despite my best judgement, I trusted you. And now I'm more than disappointed."

"What were you thinking?" Nora asked.

"It's not that bad…" Derek stuttered, rubbing his arm in a nervous movement.

"Not that bad?" his dad sarcastically chuckled "The house looks like a crime scene! God, Derek, you really let me down…"

"Both of us." Nora added, letting out another puff of air.

"Wait," Casey courageously stepped in "Why do you assume it's all Derek's fault? Maybe I had something to do with the party too."

"What?" the three of them turned to her, surprised by her words.

"Did you have something to do with this?" her mother asked, resting her hand on the back of her neck.

"Yes." Casey sadly confessed.

"Well, if you both did this, then you can both clean this up." George immediately replied.

"We'll talk about this later." Nora narrowed her eyes at her daughter, quickly exiting to the kitchen.

"Casey…"

"You don't have to say anything." she assured, watching his worried expression.

"But I do…" he insisted, resting his hand on her thigh. "I can't believe… You fell for that!"

"What?" she asked, as he burst into a sadistic laugh.

"Have fun cleaning this up, Case." Derek winked, before getting up and racing upstairs, leaving Casey speechless.

"_Motherfucker._" she huffed, her blood boiling inside her veins

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING

"George, we really need to talk." Nora said, leaning over the kitchen counter.

"What's wrong?"

"You really need to ask? This Derek-Casey situation is completely out of control. They fight every day. And Derek's reckless behaviour is starting to corrupt Casey."

"I know Derek can be a handful, but don't you think you're exaggerating a bit?"

"No, I'm not. I think it's time we take some real action. You guys aren't alone in this house anymore, you know that, right? We're responsible for them. And it doesn't seem like some healthy rivalry anymore. Things are getting out of hand. We moved in together at the beginning of summer, and it's now mid-September, and I see no changes." she spoke, taking in a deep breath.

"I agree with you honey, but maybe we should wait just a little bit more. Maybe after this whole party fiasco, they'll learn something." he tried to console her, chewing a strip of bacon.

"Does that really sound like Derek?" Nora arched up her eyebrow, trying to talk some sense into her husband "George, I just don't want this to affect our marriage. It was already a struggle to get where we are, and I feel like this will really affect us in the long run. And I love you. This can't be the reason we're not happy."

"I love you too, Nora." George smiled, giving her a quick peck "But how can we fix this? Derek is too self-absorbed to listen to us, and Casey is too consumed with the thought of taking Derek's power away to care."

"Derek needs something he has never had before: discipline. And Casey needs to go back to her roots. Maybe we should change their school." she shrugged.

"Well, Derek isn't doing well in that area, that's for sure. Do you really think that if they went to a more exigent school, they could change their behaviour?"

"Maybe. I don't know, George. Maybe it's a risk we should be willing to take."

"But most of our problems are here, at home." he pointed out, taking a sip of his tasteless coffee.

"I know…" she sighed, before an idea struck her "What if we move them to a boarding school? I mean, think about it. They're really exigent, strict, but they teach them how to live on their own. And Derek definitely needs that. They're 2 years away from university, George. It's the perfect time."

"Isn't that a bit out of our reach? Financially, I mean."

"Yes, but with less work around the house, I could definitely find another job. I think this might have a shot of working out."

"Maybe, it sounds doable."

"Promise me you'll think about it." she begged, "If this is something we're really considering, we need to get informed as quickly as possible."

"I promise." George nodded, stroking her cheek softly.

* * *

1 WEEK LATER

"Hey, Case…" Derek called her attention, squeezing his fork to stop himself from laughing "Sam told me something really interesting today."

"Derek, don't start," George warned when the whole table realized their daily dinner fight was right on schedule.

"No, dad, it's quite interesting." he chuckled, as Casey shot him a deadly glare "You see, apparently our great pride Casey, fell at school; again. That's right everyone: Klutz is back, stronger than ever!"

"DE-REK!" Casey burst with rage, kicking him under the table, as Edwin and Marti giggled loudly "How can you be so insensitive?"

"How can you be so clumsy?" he mocked her, imitating her squeaky tone.

"Derek, I swear to God, I'll kill you!" she harshly spat out, throwing a piece of bread at his head.

"Good aim…" he admitted, a smirk drawn on his face "For a Klutz."

"You jerk!" Casey barked loudly, getting up and running to her room.

"It's the third time this happened this week." Nora sighed, shaking her head "After dinner we're gonna have a serious talk."

"This can't go on." George nodded, with a stern voice.

"Come on dad, where's your sense of humor?" Derek laughed, tilting his head back and taking a bite of the piece of bread that had fallen on his lap.

"It left when you threw that party. And just like my trust in you, after that, it's not coming back." he said, immediately shutting Derek, and a giggling Edwin, down.

\---

"Casey?" Nora knocked on her door, before letting herself in "We need to talk."

"I'm doing my french homework." Casey answered, leaning over her book, highlighting a few sentences.

"It's important." she tried to be assertive, something that never seemed to work around Casey. "Living room, please."

"Okay, fine." she sighed, closing her book and perfectly aligning her pencil to her notebook.

"What's this about?" Casey questioned, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa from Derek, refusing to acknowledge him.

"You." George pointed, standing in front of the tv "Both of you."

"What did we do?" Casey huffed, glancing over at Derek in disgust.

"I don't know. What didn't you do?" George sarcastically replied.

"Kids, we're done with your rivalries." Nora slowly explained, "We gave you time to adjust, close to four months actually, but now it's time to take action."

"What… What kind of action?" Derek stuttered. He was beginning to feel something he didn't feel often: threatened and powerless.

"We're gonna change your school." George stated, folding his arms across his chest.

"What?" his son nearly screamed, shifting in his seat. "You- you can't do that!"

"Oh, Derek, that's where you're mistaken! Not only _could _we do it, but we're also doing it."

"But I just moved schools!" Casey complained, looking at her mother "You're not gonna make me be the new girl for the second time in just two months!"

"It's for the best." Nora said, as George gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"I can't believe this." she shook her head, attentively observing Derek, who had his hand running through his untamed hair.

"Dad, Nora, this is crazy. What school would you even put us in? I mean… Ours is the best one around."

"Well, Derek… Casey…" George took a deep breath "We're actually moving you to a boarding school."

"This is not happening." Derek fell back on his chair "This can't be happening."

Casey sat in silence, digesting the conversation. The initial shock was obvious, none of them were expecting their parents to make such a huge, defining decision like that. And even though she could see (and enjoy) Derek freaking out from the corner of her eye, it didn't really feel all that awful to her. For a goal-oriented, meticulous, ambitious person like Casey, the thought of living in her school and having full responsibility over every aspect of her life, actually sounded rather appealing. All kinds of thoughts drifted through her mind, from how she would decorate her room, how she could organize her weekends, and especially how much she would avoid Derek on a daily basis. For a rushed moment, it seemed like a flawless plan- after all, Casey was a big fan of improvising and adapting to overcome a problem. 

"I'm sorry things had to come this far." Nora apologized, bringing Casey from her thoughts back to reality "But you guys are making it impossible to live like this."

"This is a disaster." Derek insisted, and all Casey wanted to do was laugh at his pathetic overreaction. 

"I get it." Casey nodded, "We haven't made it easy for you. But mom, are you sure this isn't a weight on our finances?"

"It's for your wellbeing, and ours too. There's no price on that." Nora lied, knowing that if she told Casey she'd have to work two jobs, her daughter would carry that guilt forever.

"Dad…" the upset Derek tried to say, but George interrupted him.

"I know what you're going to say. It's not up for discussion; not with you guys anyway."

Derek fell back on the sofa, letting himself sink into his seat. Sure, not living with his parents sounded great, but at the same time, it would mean being at school all the time, which Derek wasn't a particular fan of. And plus, even though Derek hated himself for even allowing his brain to think it, it kind of felt like his parents were trying to get rid of him. Of course he had never been an easy child, or an easy anything, but surely he couldn't be bad enough to be sent away to a boarding school… They made it sound worse than it really was. Sure, he and Casey fought. Maybe they fought hard, and regularly- but what step-siblings didn't? She was obnoxious and he was always right, so obviously living together would be slightly troubling. 

He glanced over at Casey, incredulous at her beaming expression. Why did everything that upset him never seem to be an issue for her? She was never satisfied with _anything_, but the moment she finds out about something that will be potentially great for her and shitty for him, a smile appears on her face. It was utterly annoying. There she was, leaning back on the cushions, biting her lip to stop a giggle from escaping her mouth, probably mentally planning out her new room, alphabetically organizing all her books in her new white stands… All whilst he was struggling to even relax his muscles, ferociously breathing in and out, clenching his fists in anger.

"I have to go call Emily!" she interrupted Derek's thoughts, taking the phone from the coffee table and racing to her room.

"Dad, Nora, you can't do this." Derek tried to reason, still hoping he could change their mind. "Any other punishment is better than this! I'll do anything."

"You should've thought of that before you threw that party." George replied, stern like never before "Or before you decided to torture Casey and throw the good house environment we were trying to keep out the window. Go to your room now please, we'll discuss this tomorrow."

George left slowly, followed by Nora, who was avoiding eye contact with her sorry step-son. The living room emptied, leaving Derek alone to be consumed by his fatal thoughts. After the shock wave passed, he gathered the strength and courage to get up and return to his room. This unusual feeling was taking over him, and he had never felt so nauseous in his entire life. As soon as he lied down in his unmade bed again, the thought struck him: _defeat_. That's what it was.

Oh, and how bitter it tasted…


	2. Resentment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the 1st published chapter of this story. If you want to leave a comment, a review or let me know anything, I would definitely appreciate that!

“Derek…” Casey called softly, after glancing over her shoulder and noticing him standing by her door “You haven’t spoken to me in two weeks. I really don’t know what to do anymore.”

Her eyes remained locked on him, as he leaned against her doorframe, his face tight with anger. Casey looked away after a few more seconds, attempting to return her attention to the boxes spread across her bed. It was their last day at home: a rainy, obscure Friday before they had to leave for their new boarding school. Casey was thrilled, the news had settled quite well with her, as someone who had dreamt of being on her own for as long as she could remember. Derek, on the other hand, was dreading having to pack his things and leave his reign. He had been in charge of that house for as long as he could remember as well, and he wasn’t exactly the best at dealing with change, especially the change that didn’t favor him in any way. 

“I don’t understand why you’re mad at me.” Casey sighed, fitting another blue shirt into the already over-packed suitcase. “It’s not my fault. You threw the party, and we got caught. I don’t get why you’re so angry! But I appreciate the silence, nonetheless.”

She could still feel his presence, but she couldn’t bring herself to look back at him. There was nothing else to be said. Even though she had always fantasized about a quiet, peaceful existence without snarky and mean comments from Derek, she was now realizing it was nothing like she thought it would be. It was agonizing; nothing she did was worthy of a response from him. Though she could never understand it, Casey enjoyed getting on his nerves, it was gratifying and just fucking fun.

And this time she couldn’t help but overthink his consistent silence: Was this really that painful for him? Or was he just pretending so that he could easily manipulate her? It was mentally exhausting to wonder if it was real. Derek had always been an exceptional performer; an expert at making people feel sorry for him, especially in situations like these, where it was _mostly_ his fault.

But he wasn’t the only one pretending. In fact, Casey had been pretending for the whole of those two weeks that it didn’t bother her that Derek hadn’t said a word to her. She glowed fake happiness, throwing smirks and excited looks whenever he didn’t reply to her. In the back of her head, she suspected Derek knew it was bullshit, but it suited her to think she was faking it rather well.

“Please stop looking at me.” Casey begged; her back still turned to him “If you have nothing to say, just go.”

Derek cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself.

“Just don’t speak to me when we get there.” He warned, his words like darts to Casey’s chest. “Or even better, just don’t talk to me ever again.”

It was her turn to fall silent. He had never been that fucking cold before. Casey felt tears scratch her eyes and blinked them away quietly. She prayed Derek didn’t realize what was going on, as she continued to pack her things, seemingly ignoring him. His footsteps gave away his exit, and Casey immediately turned to the door, kicking it shut, before finally allowing tears to break free.

Crying over Derek was pathetic and confusing. He had never made her cry before, besides a hint of some angry tears during their most brutal fights, and she was not going to let him do it now. Casey wiped away her teary cheeks and closed her eyes, allowing herself a full minute before she went back to work, because she would rather die than let a minor emotional breakdown stun her efficiency. In fact, there was only one sure way to get over such a meaningless, vulnerable moment: to redirect her focus back to her to-do list, which continued to grow even though Nora had already warned three times not to overpack.

And Derek… Well, he would break eventually; he had to. It was inevitable. He would surely get into trouble at the new school as soon as he set one foot into it. He would ask for her help, she would give him a lecture on why following the rules was not only crucial but also enjoyable, he would get mildly annoyed but she would cave and help him by, most likely, breaking the rules too. It was routine, familiar and comforting in a way she wasn’t willing to explain. It was obvious this strange tantrum of his would pass, and until then, she would just have to ignore him as well. _Imitation is the greatest form of flattery._

“Casey, dear,” her mother opened her door, letting out a deep, slightly regretful sigh as she noticed the number of boxes spread around her daughter’s room “You’re not done with those yet?”

“Of course not.” Casey replied, rubbing her teary eyes one more time before turning to face a concerned Nora.

“Honey, we’re sort of running out of space in the car…” Nora cleared her throat “And I’m sure you won’t need all of this anyway! It would be nice of you to actually leave some space for the other students, don’t you think?”

“If I can’t come prepared, might as well not come at all.” Casey nodded, seemingly agreeing with herself.

“I’m just saying… You will be wearing a uniform most of your time. Why are you packing up so many clothes?”

“I’m just leaving space for Lizzie…” Casey lied.

“You want her to move in here when you’re gone?” Nora narrowed her eyes at her daughter, surprised.

“Well, why not?” She shrugged “The poor girl deserves some space.”

“I thought she liked her room…” Nora whispered to herself.

“Mom, I’m sure she does, but I don’t know, I’ll just let her know that it’s okay if she wants to move into my room.”

“Yes, that’s nice of you.” Nora reached out, hugging her daughter quite tightly “But you really can’t bring all of this with you on campus. Books and study-related objects are encouraged, but clothes are immensely frowned upon. Pack as light as you can, Casey, Derek is already occupying half the trunk with his guitars.”

“That’s so unfair and selfish.” Casey pulled away from their hug, her hands tightening into a fist “That’s so… _Derek.”_

“If you feel like you really need something you didn’t bring, George and I will drive up on the weekend and bring whatever you need, okay?” Nora calmed her, already making excuses to see her precious daughter that hadn’t even left yet.

“Thanks mom, I really appreciate that.” Casey smiled, pulling her mom into a last hug before pushing her out of the room “Now please leave, I have to unpack and make a list of new priorities to only pack the absolutely necessary.”

“Don’t stay up all night doing that though!” Nora warned her, already outside “We’re leaving in the morning!”

Casey barely nodded, already with her mind elsewhere, mentally listing all her belongings and categorizing them in only 2 categories: _absolutely essential _and _unnecessary in the foreseeable future. _After so much forced change in the past few months, Casey was looking forward to upgrading and moving into an environment that would actually benefit her Type A personality. She would miss her family, blood-related and even the one she gained when she lost everything else, but it was time for a new chapter. A chapter where she wasn’t the only one miserable, and a new school that Derek didn’t already control. That was a fair beginning for both of them.

Before she could finish her grand to-do list, exhaustion struck and guided her to her bed, for one last night. She would certainly miss her day-to-day in London. Endless phone conversations with Emily, a heart that skipped beats whenever Sam was around, and fighting with Edwin over what channel to watch on the TV next. Yet not having to share walls with Derek, and consequently, with his loud, distasteful music was absolutely freeing; and that was enough for now.

* * *

“DE-REK!” Casey screamed, banging repeatedly on the bathroom door “You’ve been in there for nearly half an hour already! Get out!”

No reply. She could hear him move around in there, his always loud stumping giving each of his movements away. _One last morning fight with Derek, I can do this._

“Please, please, please get out!” She continued to try to capture a reaction out of him, but it was as effective as talking to a wall.

The door handle turned and out got Derek, with a tired, annoyed expression drawn all over his face. His brown eyes were narrowed due to his sleepy state, and his hair was wet and uncontrollable. Casey swallowed hard, avoiding any more eye contact with him, unsure if she would turn to stone if she kept looking at him. He shoved her aside, his bare shoulder touching hers aggressively.

“Real mature.” Casey exhaled, quickly shutting the door behind her with a strong kick.

He was driving her absolutely mad. Who knew him not saying a word to her would actually annoy her even more than them fighting? She needed distance from him, immediately. Even the bathroom smelled sickeningly like him and that overrated cologne he insisted on wearing every day. Her eyes drifted to the bathroom floor and her stomach twisted. If he had never thrown that stupid party, they would’ve never gotten into trouble. Well, at least not that time.

* * *

Derek was absolutely committed to his role: for the whole of those two weeks, he stood silent and proud. Though temptation allured him continuously, he never once let out a mean comment, nor did he insult or even acknowledge Casey. It was surely the hardest task he could have ever handed to himself, since his most important function was to, well, bother her. Which included annoying and tormenting her, make her yell, and pretty much make her revolted with anything and everything. She was his favorite, (and only) target. Nothing satisfied him more than hearing her yell absolute non-sense at him, or hear his name with a tint of desperation and anger. It was the best way to pass the time. So, to put it simply, those two weeks were boring. Without his attempts to irritate Casey, and without her dramatic reactions, things around the house were just tasteless. He would still rather have boring than cave and talk to her, but it was still no fun to live like that.

“Still not talking to Casey, huh?” Edwin commented, pouring cereal into a dirty bowl and sitting on the kitchen with Derek “I’m impressed.”

“Oldest trick in the book, Edweirdo.” Derek shrugged, showing a cocky smile “We all know Casey lives for the attention, so the best way to really get to her is to ignore her entire existence.”

“You’re an actual evil genius, bro.” The younger brother chuckled.

“I hope you’ve been paying attention all the years; now that I’m not going to be around here, I need you to be the tormenter. I’m expecting you to live this legacy the right way. Don’t let me down.”

“I won’t, I promise.” Edwin nodded, placing his hand dramatically over his chest.

“Dad and Nora are getting softer by the minute, you’ll have it so much easier than I had.” Derek huffed, trying to hype his brother up, aware that he was probably feeling less confident in the prospect of being without guidance from now on.

“Sure hope so, D.” Edwin half-smiled, eating another mouthful of cereal “You nervous about today?”

“When have you ever seen me nervous?” He rolled his eyes “Being nervous is for the weak. I’m a leader, Edwino, you know that.”

“Right…”

“I conquered this school and will surely cause the same effect at the new one. It’s all a matter of confidence.”

“But preppy private schools are much more Casey’s style. She’ll probably adapt better than you.”

“Untrue. She’s a perfectionist. Something about the new school won’t be as she wants, and she won’t get anywhere. I, on the other hand, will shape my surroundings to my needs, something Casey could never do even if she wanted to. So, Edwino, don’t you ever underestimate me ever again.”

“Fine.” Edwin shrugged “You got this.”

“Great.” Derek smiled, satisfied “Now go put my stuff in the car.”

“Yes, Derek.” His younger brother reluctantly got up, letting Derek win like always. “Speaking of the devil…”

Just as Edwin left the kitchen, Casey made her way in, with her hair still slightly dripping down her back. She was wearing a tight-fitting red top and washed-out jeans. Derek forced himself to look away, but his brain was questioning everything about that picture. Casey had never worn that top before; he was absolutely sure of that. With his keen sense of observation, he could probably recognize almost every article of clothing she owned, and until now, he had no idea the red top made the list. She would have never worn it any other day, all because she had this ridiculous idea that people wouldn’t take her seriously if she drew attention to her body. Typical Casey: an advocate for women’s right to wear whatever they want (knowing that should never diminish their character), but being too scared to face the judgement herself. Just typical Casey… Complex yet so simple.

That morning was just another example of that. Either she was so nervous about moving to another school that she’d be willing to completely change her image, or she had already packed all her favorite clothes and this was all that was left. If only he could ask her some incriminating questions and find out.

“Casey, are you ready to go?” George asked, pointing to her with a satisfied look.

“Almost.” Casey replied, grabbing an apple “I haven’t eaten yet. Sorry, George.”

It’s all good, for now we’re actually ahead of schedule!” He smiled, enjoying that sensation for what seemed to be the first time “I’ll just cross-check everything with Nora while you eat.”

Casey nodded, pouring some orange juice in a glass, facing away from both him and Derek.

“And you…” George sighed, holding in a very obvious chuckle “Please stop using Edwin as a luggage carrier. Now I have to give him 5 bucks to shut up.”

“Sorry dad, I’m saving all my energy to make the ladies at the new school fall for me.” Derek smirked, trying to believe every word he was saying.

“Talk about a mission impossible…” Casey huffed, rolling her eyes.

George eagerly waited for his son’s reply, but silence awkwardly filled the space between them.

“Well, Derek, I’m sure the ladies will appreciate if we make it there on time. I’m waiting for you guys outside.”

“Sure thing.” He shrugged, getting up to leave with him as well “Just got to go check if Edwin did a good job carrying my guitars to the car."

His icy stare landed on Casey, who thankfully seemed bothered, which was the new normal those days. She felt a shiver creep up her spine, she _hated _when Derek looked at her like that. Even more than that, she _hated _how much the whole situation was bothering her. One could only hope no one noticed it that much.

Nora asked one more time if everyone was ready before hurrying Derek and Casey to the car. Lizzie was slightly devastated she couldn’t join the family on the trip, but Edwin was just thrilled he could sit all morning in Derek’s chair watching cartoons. Without Derek around, the possibilities for entertainment were endless.

“Lizzie, I’ll call you tomorrow as soon as I’m settled in, all right?” Casey assured her, pulling her sister into a hug “I promise.”

“I can’t wait to hear what you think about the new school.” Lizzie smiled “Hope everything is as you want it to be.”

“It won’t be, without you in it!” she smiled, blinking away any hints of tears welling in her eyes “Take care of yourself and please don’t let Edwin go more than two days without showering.”

“That would be a public health disaster.” Her little sister giggled, reaching out for another hug.

“I’ll miss you, sis.” Casey sighed, pulling away when she noticed George impatiently standing by the car.

Derek appeared suddenly behind them, now carrying a very upset Marti in his arms, as she silently cried.

"Smarti, it’ll be okay, I promise.” He assured her, giving her a loving kiss on the forehead.

The little one nodded without smiling, rubbing her teary, red eyes. Derek put her down, still linking his hand with her tiny one, as he looked at his father, begging for some type of parental intervention. George obliged, picking her up.

“Marti, the babysitter will be here soon.” He said, also sending the message across to Lizzie. “Now Derek really has to go.”

“Bye Smerek.” Marti spoke through muffled cries.

“Be good, Smarti!” Derek kindly smiled, running his hands through his hair.

Lizzie took Marti’s hand and brought her inside, where Casey could eye a very entertained Edwin who she knew wouldn’t bother saying a heartfelt goodbye. He wouldn’t make a scene like that, and Casey wouldn’t take it personally; it was all part of his prepubescent priorities: steal Derek’s favorite seat, and watch whatever felt inappropriate and grown-up on the TV.

Derek gave Lizzie an awkward but well-intentioned hug before getting in the car with Nora and George, who was already behind the wheel.

“Go back inside, Liz!” Casey told her, waving and blowing a kiss.

As soon as Lizzie got back inside with Marti, George started the car, immediately turning on the radio. He was expecting some sort of argument from Derek as to why they should be listening to heavy rock music, but his son was silent and strangely still. For the first few kilometers of the trip, Nora attempted to make conversation, forcing casual topics into something unnatural. Casey was upset about leaving her sister behind, and about having to sit next to a closed-off, absent-minded Derek, though she could never show it.

“Kids,” Nora spoke, after another few minutes of uninviting silence. “I know you’re still mad at us… Especially you, Derek, but this is what is best of you, your dad and I truly believe that.”

“Please…” Derek huffed, finally giving away a sign that he was still himself. “You already got the upper hand here; there’s no need to make us the stupid, reckless kids that got sent away.”

“That’s not…” Nora sighed, not even daring to finish her sentence.

“Don’t speak to Nora like that.” His dad warned, gripping the steering wheel “You know you _are _reckless, you’ve always been. End of story. Hopefully you’ll learn something by living on your own. Maybe you’ll learn something about responsibility from Casey.”

Derek scoffed loudly at the mention of his perfect stepsister. What could he possibly learn from her? The only thing he did learn was how _not _to live. Her monotonous lifestyle was his worst nightmare. Who the hell would want to sit at home, night in after night in, reading and studying whilst life happened right outside the door? It just wasn’t for him. _There was nothing the righteous suburban princess could teach him._

“George, I really don’t think…” Casey tried to redeem the seemingly unfixable situation, before being brutally interrupted.

“Oh, shut up.” Derek rolled his eyes, his breathing accelerated.

"I thought you weren’t speaking to me.” She replied, her voice icy and revolted.

“Well, I could never deprive myself from the privilege that is telling you to shut the fuck up.”

“Hey!” George impatiently raised his voice “Language!”

“Great sentence, Derek. It only took sixteen years to come up with it.”

George let out another frustrated grunt, before stepping up the game and telling both of them to, effectively, shut the fuck up. Seeing his dad that angry was a rare sight for Derek, who had always seen him as just one of them, the dude who was a lawyer by day and a teenager at home. He knew he was an authority figure in some way yet it had never felt like it. Now he was really taking charge, making changes instead of laughing at his son’s jokes, and somehow that made him uncomfortable.

Casey shifted in the car seat, switching glances between the window and Derek, who swore he could actually kill her if he looked at her (or something equally dramatic but less violent). There was just one thought that seemed common between them: that they had an unpleasant, long-ass year ahead of them.

* * *

Despite some lingering awkwardness, the road trip took less than expected, just under two hours, all thanks to George’s slow, meticulous driving and Derek’s need to pee every half hour. Casey gave it her absolute best effort to not exchange dirty looks with Derek for the entirety of the drive, which was hard since he was also giving it his all to annoy her. Humming, whistling and talking about subjects that he knew would get under her skin… She knew it was definitely working, but he didn’t have to.

By the time they reached Hamilton, Casey was more than exhausted from the whole ordeal. Her hands were begging to wrap themselves around Derek’s neck, to choke him mercilessly, like a sweaty dream that surely only psychopaths had. Of course she didn’t pay attention to that creepy, violent side of her thoughts, because if she did, her stepbrother would have stopped picking fights about ten minutes after they had first met. In any way, all she really wanted was to get out of the car and ignore Derek’s presence for as long as humanly possible.

“George, aren’t we a little lost…? Sweetie…?” Nora cleared her throat, noticing how far they now were from the city center.

“I’m following the map. I think it’s this way.” George replied, with fake, blind confidence only he knew how to demonstrate.

“I didn’t realize the school was this far from the center.”

“It’s not that far…” Casey shrugged, enjoying the green pastures around them “Fifteen minutes at most, mom. We’re just outside Hamilton now.”

George slowed down, pointing to a grand building on top of a small hill.

“Isn’t that it?”

“From the pictures, I think so.” His wife nodded, admiring it with care.

“It’s really quite nice, isn’t it?” Casey noted, with a dreamy yet nervous tone to her voice.

As George drove the car up the hill and into the actual school, Casey’s eyes were immediately drawn to the graceful architecture of its front. Like a surreal, old palace, it stood beautifully just above some granite, large steps, giving it some height and distance from the entrance gate. For a perfectionist like herself, it was the most harmonious mixture between classic and slightly modern, with its glass doors and a discrete pink color. Casey could only wonder what actually stood beyond those doors.

With a sharp, loud sigh, Derek let everyone know he was the only one still completely unimpressed with the sight. He could feel the weight of the next few months, or even years if Nora and George decided to, press on his chest, slowing down his breathing to a dangerous rhythm. For someone as usually expressive as he was, Derek suddenly felt like lying down and disappearing into the immense nothingness. There was something so wrong about the idea of him moving, something so ridiculously unnatural about him actually being there, it all made him sick. If there was any time to be humble and admit he felt like a fish out of water, it was now.

Like he was reading his son’s thoughts, George called out to him, after carefully parking the car by the main entrance.

“Derek, are you okay?”

“I am.” He cleared his throat, deciding it was best to keep his dignity than to admit his misery. “Just tired… Oh, and hating everything about this unfortunate situation.”

“Good.” George nodded, getting out of the car “That’s how people learn. Now help Casey with the luggage.”

_Good. That’s how people learn- How fucking morally rich of him._

After shutting the car door with a feverish force he didn’t know he had, Derek slyly placed himself behind Casey, who was clumsily struggling to get her bags and boxes out of the trunk. Instead of approaching her, he thought it would benefit both of them if he just stood by and watched her.

“Don’t break anything, Klutz.” Derek warned, letting his presence known.

“How about I break one of your guitars, huh, Derek?” She fought back, turning around to face him.

“Don’t you dare touch any of them!”

“Casey, please calm down.” Nora intervened, gently grabbing her arm.

“Yes, Case…” Derek smiled “Just calm down.”

“Oh, fuck off.”


	3. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you have any thoughts? Leave them below! Thank you :)

It seemed like the room was getting smaller. The beige walls were slowly closing in on him, and it felt as if he had to try exceptionally hard to just breathe regularly. The dry air was scratching the back of his throat, as small droplets of sweat formed and dripped down his forehead. It seemed all he could do was chew the inside of his cheeks, lick away any microscopic drops of blood, and wait for his heart to stop beating like he had just had a close encounter with death itself.

_Was this what a panicked Derek looked like?_

Casey felt a sudden urge to look at him.

They were sitting in the school’s Headmistress’ office, their uncomfortable chairs facing her and her grand, wooden desk, that was a little too detailed and excessive for Derek’s taste. They both knew exactly why they were there, even though at the moment nothing came to mind, as their brains were simply a blur of accelerating thoughts and memories.

Derek could sense Casey’s eyes on him, her gaze so intense it made his skin itch with discomfort. He knew she was burning through him with those icy irises, but he didn’t dare to lock eyes with her, dreading the knot that tightened his stomach whenever they exchanged heavy, powerful glances like those.

Casey watched him nervously nibble at his lips. She wasn’t even listening to what their Headmistress was saying, even though she knew she should be. All she could concentrate on was how angry she was.

Angry at Derek, for stirring up trouble, again, and for involving her in it, especially when she had no desire to be associated with him whatsoever. Angry at herself, for standing once again by his side, and for allowing herself to be dragged into situations she never imagined possible. The blood was pumping rhythmically in her ears, making her head hurt slightly, and her jaw was clenched to avoid a loud scream from escaping her mouth.

“Mr. Venturi, your guardians warned me you thought of yourself as a… Rebel.” Casey suddenly caught mid-sentence, having no idea what lovely speech had anticipated that hit. “I was willing to look past it, and Lord knows I turned a side-eye to a lot of your less acceptable behaviors, but I am afraid this is as far as I can bend before I break. With that being said, I hope you understand this means a good two weeks to a month of detention, alongside Ms. McDonald of course, and a final warning to you both. Next time something like this happens again, and I say this with much regret, you will both be expelled.”

Derek swallowed those words whole, with an unknown sensation electrifying every inch of his body, making his sweaty skin want to crawl. When did everything become so complicated? Of course, he knew the answer to that, it was sitting right next to him, breathing heavily and tapping her foot against the floor. It was all her fault for ruining his life; something he knew she would inevitably do since the first time he looked her in the eyes.

Casey was also ashamed, mostly for her lack of outrage at a blatant threat of expulsion, but also at how fucking little she cared about what that woman was saying. It was all Derek’s fault: his inability to give a fuck was turning her into someone she wasn’t, or at least someone she never thought she could be. He had corrupted her, and she let him. 

Her head ached as she remembered the first time they had sat in that office: when she swore it would be a ‘new era’; a the time for prosperity and happiness. It was actually laughable how she failed to predict that Derek would bring chaos to her life once more. No new lessons to be learned here, everything was just like it always was. At least now Casey was sure the change of scenario did nothing but enhance Derek's needs to be a fucking dickhead.

* * *

5 MONTHS EARLIER 

“I would just like to thank you for this opportunity and for meeting with us so late into the first semester!” Nora politely smiled, taking a seat next to George, who clearly just wanted his wife to guide the conversation.

“No problem at all, Mr. and Mrs. Venturi.” The Headmistress, who was an old, seemingly stuck-up woman, replied. The use of his last name in regards to Nora made Derek want to roll his eyes. “I am sure there won’t be a problem with them starting a bit late, just as long as they study hard and give it their best effort to meet the rest of the students!”

That thought alone was enough to make Derek laugh, which he immediately tried to cover up with a fake cough once he realized that George was eyeing him attentively.

“I can guarantee I will do my best to catch up in the curricular area.” Casey nodded, smiling. _What a weirdo. She’s literally from outer space, _Derek thought, his lips parting in disgust.

“As will Derek, surely.” Nora added, with a slightly threatening tone to her mellow voice.

"How wonderful. But first, I must introduce myself properly.” The Headmistress cleared her throat, looking directly at Derek and Casey “My name is Isabel Hastings, but you will know me as Mrs. Hastings or whatever new nickname your classmates have invented this year.”

An uncomfortable silence settled in the room.

“The important thing to know is that, after this first week, I don’t want to see either of you being called into my office. If you have a problem, do not hesitate to contact me, but I really would rather not hear that you got yourselves into trouble or anything of that sort.”

“Understandable.” Nora nodded, gripping George’s hand as she fearfully imagined the things her stepson would get himself into during that year.

“What else did I have to say…?” Mrs. Hastings mumbled to herself, shaking her head “Oh yes, your schedules are awaiting you in the administrative office as well. You will both be in the same class, at least for a few of the subjects, it was the best I could do given the classes’ size and your late signing to the school.”

_Ah, well done. Can’t wait to be in the same class as her again. _

“Also, your dormitories are in the same building. There are halls A and B, gender-appropriate obviously, and on different floors. On every floor there are bedrooms, a shared space for leisure, kitchen and a study space. Make use of the areas available to you. I’m sure the other students will give you the rest of the important information. Ah, also there is a sort of ‘prefect’ responsible for each floor, so if there are any complaints or questions to ask, it’s them you have to turn to.”

Casey was absorbing each sentence with ease, and it was practically impossible not to notice her glow around the room. It made so much sense for her to be back at such an elite, organized school, unlike someone else, who wouldn't last a minute this far outside his comfort zone.

“And finally, the weekends are free days. You can wear your regular clothes, given they apply to our dress code; freely roam around campus and, with authorization, you may leave the school grounds for special occasions or events. The curfew on weekdays is 11 pm, and on the weekends it’s 1 am.” She gave a polite smile “Any questions?”

“Is there any possibility of joining extracurricular activities this semester?” Casey eagerly asked.

“I am afraid there aren’t any openings left. But I will give you a list of the activities and clubs we have in the school and you can think about joining in the next semester.”

“Thank you for your time, Mrs. Hastings, it has been a pleasure to meet you.” Nora rose from her chair, reaching to shake the lady’s hand, as George imitated her. 

* * *

They were already standing at the school’s entrance for a final goodbye when the thought of leaving her daughter in another city finally sank in for Nora.

“Sweetie, you really don’t want me to help you unpack into your new room?”

“I love you mom, but you are much messier than me. You know I have my own methods that work well with my personality.”

“All right…” Nora sighed, closing in to hug her “I’m going to miss you so much, sweetie. Call me whenever, okay?”

“I’ll miss you too, but it’s not even 2 months until Christmas break! I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will, I trust you, Casey.” Nora nodded, and her daughter felt her heart drop.

A little further away stood George and a still visibly angry Derek. His father had cornered him, hoping he could make the slightest of amends before leaving back for London.

“Derek, please understand this was the best decision…” He tried to say, but was quickly interrupted.

“For who?” his son forced a bitter laugh, “For the rest of your family, I bet.”

“Don’t be that way.”

“Save it, dad. Just leave me alone and go enjoy your new life with some peace and quiet. I’ll try to do the same.”

Nora heard the interaction and sneaked behind George, not daring to say anything to her stepson. He was acting resentful and reckless; surely no good could come from her intervention.

“Just take care of yourself, Derek.” His father sighed, resting a hand of his son’s shoulder. “I want nothing more but to be proud of you.”

“You want to change me.” Derek corrected him, slowly taking his father’s hand off of him. “That’s it.”

Nothing about that conversation was sitting well with the parents, who had decided it was just best if they left. Nora gave one last tight hug to Casey, holding in a few tears, and lightly passed her hand through Derek’s back, hoping he would spare her the embarrassment of flinching. George awkwardly hugged her stepdaughter as well, before they both got into the car and drove away, allowing Casey to let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

She picked up her bags from the floor and, without looking at Derek, walked towards the main building, hoping to settle in her new room before lunchtime. But, without a warning, Derek abruptly stopped her.

He had grabbed roughly her by the wrist, and with a swift but firm movement, pulled her closer to him. She felt her breathing get all fumbled, as her eyes widened and concentrated on his closed-off expression. There were definitely too close for her liking. He unclenched his jaw and parted his lips, controlling his movements with a precision she didn’t realize was possible when someone appeared so unbelievably mad.

“Let me make this very clear.” He started, tightening his grip even more around her thin wrist “If anybody in this goddamn school finds out we come from the same house, the same city even, I will make your stay here absolute hell.”

Casey stopped for a few seconds. _Not that we’re semi-related, not that we’re family, but that we live in the same house,_ she thought, _that’s what he doesn’t want people to know. Interesting. _

“If you think I want anyone to know about that, you’re fucking losing it, Venturi. Now let go of me before I give _you _a piece of hell.”

Her eyes had suddenly turned a misty blue and green, like a furious ocean during a storm. He let go of her immediately, not being able to digest her expression and simply watched her storm off, huffing and mumbling to herself under her breath until she was out of sight.

_That was going to be a fucking awful year. _


	4. Reality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party: The sequel.  
Dum dum dum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know your thoughts :)

There was something unsettling about not being around Casey.

In just a few short months he had gotten used to her constant presence, subtly following him around, observing him with her attentive eyes. If she was trying to embody his long-absent conscience, she was definitely succeeding, because no matter how hard Derek tried to go against her advice or her judgement, she was already embedded in his mind. Some times he would catch himself questioning his own decisions, or rethinking arguments, in a way he had never done before. It was all her fault. Her perfectionism was apparently contagious, and even without her around, she still played a part in reviving his morals. Suppressing the ‘Casey’ nagging side of his brain was actually really fucking hard.

At least she wasn’t always that over-achieving know-it-all. Her moral compass had gotten severely off-track since meeting Derek, and if she had tainted his thoughts and way of being, Derek could only hope he had made much of the same impact on her. Unfortunately though, he couldn’t take all the credit for her Derek like behaviors: Casey was a natural. Her put-together front was just that, because she could be just as reckless and vicious as him, you just needed to know what buttons to push.

And Derek knew; _that’s what made it so fun._

Now being without her was awkward, like trying to walk around with your hands tied. He felt like he was on the lookout for _something _at all times. There was this unnerving sensation that their war had merely been paused, and he felt as though it would restart every time they crossed paths. The tension was palpable; he could smell it just like you could smell a thunderstorm right before its first rumble.

Their last conversation replayed itself mercilessly inside Derek’s mind, bringing him back to the exact moment their performances started. They didn’t know each other.

_The new girl? Blue eyes? No, I don’t know her, _he would have to say, half wishing it was actually true.

It was stupid how hard he was fighting to keep his character intact. It should be easier to know who he was without her, those seventeen years should have taught him something. He was **Derek**_, _the reckless, cool fucker most guys wanted to be when they didn’t know themselves well enough. He was DE-REK, the cruel step-brother that suburban princesses did not ask for. He was _Derek_, disappointing son and step-son, with edges yet to be polished. 

He was his own person, sure, but the weight of other’s expectations over his life often had him wondering just who the hell that was. Truthfully, he enjoyed the attention. Not in the same ways Casey did, he hardly ever sought out anyone’s approval, but simply because it was fun. Some times he didn’t even want to be the leader, it just happened. He was a bad influence, as some may suggest, yet someone people like to be around. His step-enemy was the obvious exception to the rule, as she often reminded him that she would rather be quarantined than be in the same space as him. It was bullshit though, Derek didn’t doubt it, because even after begging to be left alone, she always seemed to end up on the other side of his bedroom. Maybe Casey didn’t crave his attention, maybe she wasn’t longing for his company, but she enjoyed it. So did he, at least it was never boring to be around her. And that seemed to be enough then.

_But now everything was fucking boring._

Casey would always sit on the first row, but never in the centre, since that would make her eagerness to learn way too obvious. She’d curl her hair around her fingers, nibble on her pencil with her glossy lips, and she would _always _mumble the answers of every question, even when she didn’t raise her hand. Her legs always dangled underneath her table, and some times her restlessness would guide her feet to rapidly tap on the wooden floor, a sound all too familiar in Derek’s ears. He hated how much he observed her. He knew he kept it cool and discrete, but he was still paranoid that someone would notice the way he looked at her, or even worse, that someone would realize they knew each other.

If that had already happened, he didn’t know of it. Until then no one had suspected it, even if his new group of guys would often talk about Casey. Half of the comments were about how obsessive she was with her studies, and the other half were obscene half-hearted ‘compliments’: _Her fucking legs... She definitely has blowjob eyes… I wanna rip her skirt off of her… I would show her something much interesting than those fucking books of hers._

In times like that, all Derek could do was remain silent. He had already spent months quieting down his own slightly dirty thoughts about her, and ignoring the twitch in his dick whenever she walked around the house with only her towel wrapped tightly around her. He refused to agree with the guys, not out loud at least, because besides being his _step-_sister, Casey hated him. And he hated her too, not only because he was supposed to, but also because he absolutely had to- otherwise things wouldn’t make sense. This was their normal, and Derek wouldn’t dare to change it.

Still, Casey was doing much better than what he had anticipated. He half expected her to give up before their first two weeks there, by losing her temper and cussing him out in front of everyone over some dumb shit. But now almost a month had passed and Casey was still ignoring him with the exact same ease- which bothered Derek to no end. Was it really that easy for her to pretend like he didn’t exist? If so, why wasn’t it as effortless for him?

* * *

<strike>Casey was bored.</strike>

She’d been bored since the end of her first week on campus, which was around the same time the magic of the boarding school decided to fade away.

Her room was the last one on her floor. It was after the leisure spaces and shared kitchen, at the end of the long hallway with all the bedrooms. It felt more like a closet than a room, even if Mrs. Hastings had guaranteed her they would make adjustments throughout the school year. The walls were a dull white, and the fluorescent yellow light hanging from the ceiling gave her headaches if she stared into it for too long. Her bed was comfortable enough, thankfully she wasn’t one of those people who could only sleep in their own bed, but it wasn’t any more spacious than the one back in London. She had only one shelf nailed to the wall, which she sincerely hoped wouldn’t collapse under the weight of her books since it didn’t look all that secure. The two posters she brought from home were also hanging proudly above her bed, as a sad attempt to brighten up her room. The closet they provided her was absolutely tiny, which made Casey thankful that her mother nagged her to leave most of her clothes behind.

The only thing she really enjoyed about that room was the large, and only, window in front of her bed. The faint orange sunlight reflected all around her room right at dawn, Casey’s favourite time of the day and her view wasn’t all that bad either: she could see the back of the campus, where a grand grass field stood, possibly for soccer or lacrosse.

Her living situation was the least of her concerns though. If she had heard correctly, there would be a Halloween party that Friday night. As if that wasn’t stressful enough, she’d have to wear a ‘costume’ as well. By the sounds of it, and by the encouraging words of her new friends, it was a party that Casey just _couldn’t _miss, even if she wanted to with a burning passion. With her reputation on the line (the word had already spread that she was a keener), Casey realized she really couldn’t miss this party, or rather the opportunity to show she knew how to have fun too.

Let it be clear that a part of her actually wanted to go, but that the anxiety-driven side of her was screaming louder for her to stay home.

The left-over panic from the last time she attended a party was eating away at her. The horrible way it ended was the exact she was now in that school and in that situation. If something were to go wrong this time too, what would be the next punishment? _Being expelled? Prison?_

Okay, maybe she really did need to relax. Maybe it would even be _fun, _even if didn’t have the highest of hopes for it...

Because Derek would be there, of course he would, life simply wasn’t that kind. The image of him there made her skin crawl. He would get in trouble, _of course, _and she’d have to help him fix it. She was counting on it, Derek would always stir up trouble as if his life depended on it. It was overwhelming but something she had grown accustomed to.

And maybe this time she wouldn’t be there for him, which was a thought a that made her as uncomfortable as it made her feel relieved.

In all honesty, it was weird to pretend she didn’t know Derek, even if she had long dreamed of it. This was her chance to un-meet him and press reset on her life, yet it didn’t taste nearly as sweet as Casey once pictured it. Derek didn’t seem completely satisfied with their new reality either, given his desperate and obvious attempts to get her attention. He always stared at her and her friends, with those shark eyes of his, and it made her really uncomfortable. Her friends, on the other hand, would get giggly just by sensing his presence. Not all of them, but just enough to inflate his already monumental ego.

Casey still refused to play his games, even if it made her blood boil when he talked up all of her friends _except her,_ or when he would say stupid shit in class just to get her to turn around and roll her eyes at him. If it bothered her, she barely let it show, because there was no way she would ever give Derek the satisfaction of getting under her skin. This way was more convenient anyway, at least no one would find out the abnormal relationship and past they shared, which in itself was already a huge relief.

Of course there were moments when Casey really thought she would cave in and ruin her act, especially when those same girls commented on how _hot _and _cool _Derek was. _Really? _Casey would say, scrunching her nose in slight disgust- _Definitely_, they all agreed in-between giggles, something that always made her think back on Emily and on how well she would fit in there. At times like those, all Casey could do was shut up before she completely crumbled down and told those girls what Derek really was like: a problematic, hygiene-troubled young man, that never flushed the toilet and whose room hadn’t been cleaned since 2003.

Really, _what the fuck do they see in Derek anyway?_

* * *

The ultimate point was that she was stressed. Stressed about the party, stressed about having to share a space with Derek once again, and absolutely _fucking stressed _about the outfit her friend was insisting on her to wear.

“You’re Catwoman!” Lindsay laughed, watching Casey stare confusingly at the clothes. “Or a sexy black cat if you’d prefer.”

_I’d prefer to not wear it, _she thought, embarrassed.

“Thanks,” Casey nodded awkwardly, trying to make sense of how that miniature of a skirt would ever reach her knees “I’ll try it on.”

Before locking herself in her room, Lindsay touched her shoulder “There’s a mask too!”

Casey felt a roaring scream make its way up her throat, but she swallowed it back down just in time. She forced a smile before closing the door on her eager friend. Just the thought of her wearing that, _in front of people, _made her want to laugh. Or cry. Or both. It was ridiculous, but apparently she wasn’t the only one insecure about it. All of the girls on her floor were dressed somewhat racy, and even though Casey did **not **consider herself a prude, she felt sweaty just thinking about putting it on. Given the short time they had to look for an actual costume, and the effervescent desire to wear something besides the school uniform, all the girls in her class had put on half-hearted attempts at an outfit. None of them had put any real pressure on Casey to wear the all-black clothes that she was now holding, but she felt obligated to, since they had been that kind as to offer it to her. Being the new girl would always be difficult, but they really were making it much easier for her to fit in.

Somehow Casey did feel a little better when she finally tried it on, despite the fact that the girl on the reflection seemed to be mocking her.

The black top fit her rather well, it was (thankfully) long-sleeved and tied at the front with a knot positioned a little further down than what Casey expected. Nonetheless, she looked good. Sure, her boobs seemed to be staring at her, begging to be noticed, but other that, she felt good. The skirt was still a no-go though. Black jeans would have to suffice, it was fucking nearly November in Canada after all, and Casey did not intend to suffer from hypothermia. And the norm for the event seemed to just be to wear something that would cheat the school’s dress code, which Casey was more than okay with.

The mask sitting on top of her bed was calling out to her too, and she tried it on with a sly smile. It covered most of her face, from around her eyes to the tip of her nose, and Casey suspected it was the only official part of that costume. Did she truly feel Catwoman? Or anything remotely close to a sexy cat? _No, _but she was already pretending so much those days, surely she could also pretend that she was fucking hot and ready for a good time. Hopefully no one would immediately recognize her either. 

* * *

Derek was skeptical when his friends mentioned a Halloween party, mostly because a party at a boarding school full of minors seemed, at the very least, fucking lame. But when the rumor reached him that people would sneak alcohol in, as they did every year apparently, Derek was suddenly hopeful. He desperately needed to relax and let loose, and that night felt like the ideal time to do so. Especially since at this party nothing could go wrong like at the last one. The absence of responsibility pleased him endlessly and without his nagging conscience around, he could truly be himself (whoever that was).

Because _of course _Casey wouldn’t be there, life simply wasn’t that kind. He’d adore to see her though, he’d pay good money to have her there, awkwardly tip-toeing around, judging all those she deemed beneath her- because that's what she did. He must have been dreaming the moment Casey admitted to him that she did have fun that night, when they were locked away in the bathroom. It was so out of character for her to be irresponsible and _chilled, _so Derek knew he must have dreamt it.

Being at the school felt more or less the same, they were also locked away from everybody else, forced to be together, even if they tried so hard to pretend they weren’t. Still, that night had maybe opened his eyes to the possibility that Casey could actually be fun, and he wasn’t letting go of the idea that there could a sequel.

He had put on a lame Devil costume, wearing all red clothes with horns and one of those typical sticks to match. If George could see him then, he sure would have a good laugh. He’d been telling his son he was the devil ever since Derek was little, repeating the story of how he managed to scare away all his baby-sitters just so he could watch tv into the late night with Edwin. Those times had come and gone, but Derek couldn’t be sure if he had grown out of that phase or grown into that costume. And tonight, he wouldn’t care either.

“Venturi!” Someone called out from behind Derek, as soon as he walked into the school’s so-called 'event building'. “You came!”

“How could I ever miss this lame party?” He huffed, throwing in a thin laugh for good measure “So, this is the rather charming event building?”

Derek looked around, not sure if he was disappointed or amused at the situation. He was standing at the vast hallway that must lead to the actual site of the party, given that he could already hear the faint hum of rock music and muffled conversations. Fake spider webs hung from the ceiling, along with some Derek admitted must be real, and small pumpkins were planted in every corner. It all looked a little corny, especially with what must have been a teacher dressed as a vampire guarding the door, but the promises of alcohol and good times were enough to shut Derek up.

The guy next to him, Parker, was dressed as a hockey player. _How creative of him_, Derek thought, since he was the actual hockey team captain. Looking at his friend dressed like that made him slightly jealous since he was the only team captain back home, and now he wasn’t even in the team. The truth was that he missed hockey enough to have the urge to steal Parker’s very _real _hockey equipment and steal his spot as team captain.

“Let’s meet up with the guys inside and raise a drink to Satan himself.” Parker said, bringing Derek back to reality.

“Please. Let’s.” He begged, licking his lips in anticipation.

Inside the event room, things looked pretty much the same. Dimmed lights with a few neon tones, a disco ball that appeared to be at least 30 years old, and several tables with food and uninteresting drinks. There was a huge white wall at the end of the room, where old horror movie clips were being projected. It was subtle but somewhat charming, and even with his expectations set quite low, Derek was still a little impressed. The room gave off very distinct old gym vibes, with smooth plastered floors that felt eerily familiar, like some old memory Derek couldn’t actually reach. There were people dancing at the center, some of them severely uncoordinated, but most of the groups were hanging around on the sides. It seemed like every class from the 10th to 12th grade was there, which made the space look quite full. Most people were wearing costumes, but only a few were actually thought-out and elaborate, since most of them just appeared to be last minute choices, much like Derek’s own costume. The girls, who Derek eyed attentively, were mostly wearing regular clothes, with a few kitty ears, masks and some times even a tail. They looked good, so good that he didn’t even realize the mumbled _hmmm _that had escaped his lips.

“There’s Kingston and Clark!” Parker warned, elbowing Derek to make sure he followed him through the crowd.

“Hey, guys.” Derek greeted, bumping fists with the two lanky guys in front of him. They were both seniors and both hockey players, which is why Derek tried so hard to be on good terms with them.

Kingston was _also _wearing his normal hockey equipment, with the big twist that he drew a gapping bleeding bullet hole in his forehead, and some blood around his mouth. Clark seemed to have completely missed the memo, or rather ignored it, because he was wearing his normal clothes- jeans and a white shirt tucked inside a big, leather jacket that looked like it had belonged to his father. Thankfully, under said worn out biker jacket, were hidden flasks and some cans of beers. Derek decided it was best not to know what was inside the flasks until he had drunken it.

“A toast,” Clark proposed, passing around the flasks discretely between them “To us.”

“To raising Hell tonight, and always.” Parker added, directing his focus specifically at Derek, who gave him in return the dirtiest, slyest smile he could phantom.

Derek lifted the flask so he could take a sip. Whatever was in it warmed his lips before severely burning the back of his mouth and the whole way down his throat. It tasted cheap, like some imitation of real alcohol, but Derek savored it in contentment anyway. How often do you get to drink something besides regular beer at a private boarding school? So rarely that Derek felt that he had become unskilled when dealing with strong drinks. He felt like a 14 year old who had just stolen dad’s beers for the first time. He traded off his flask for the others, trying out every type of liquid it held until all the tastes began to melt together and it didn't burn anymore.

After an hour, he was drunk.

He suspected it hit him sooner than that, when he laughed at some kid wearing a sheet with holes cut out who told him a knock-knock joke. Or when a girl disguised as an angel asked him to dance, and he ended up making a complete fool of himself on the dance floor. Honestly, there were only a few things going through his mind: _1) I hope I don’t puke 2) I knew Casey wouldn’t be here 3) Why isn’t Casey here?_

What he didn’t know yet was that not only was she there, but she was also seeing everything that he was doing with a big, stupid grin on her face. Casey didn’t think she had ever seen Derek drunk, since whenever he drank it was always at other people’s parties and houses (to which Casey was never invited), and never at their own. To put it simply, this was as entertaining for Casey as watching a newborn deer trying to walk for the first time. His movements were sloppy, his dance moves were atrocious and his hair stood untamed, slightly damp from his own sweat. She was sure he hadn't seen her, he probably couldn’t even recognize her with her wearing mask, so it made it all the more tempting to continue watching him anonymously.

“Is that Derek?” Matilda asked, squinting her eyes at the dance floor confirm her theory “Oh. My. God.”

“Yes, it is!” Casey laughed, amused that the topic of conversation wasn't just about how hot he was.

“He looks ridiculous.” Lindsay added, shaking her head tenderly “It’s so _cute.”_

<strike>Scratch that.</strike>

Well,_ that’s one word for it. _The words pathetic, foolish and even disgusting also came to mind, but Casey settled for silence and a prominent frown. Casey suddenly worried he was somehow hearing her thoughts, because he had just abandoned his dance partner and was now headed directly towards her. She silently prayed to all gods for him to not recognize her, but the damage seemed to be done. He was edging even closer now, stumbling a bit in his march towards her. He had this unreadable expression imprinted on his face that sent Casey into full panic mode. Unfortunately, she had never been the best in dealing with such impromptu situations, so she decided to avoid it altogether. She managed to mutter that she needed to excuse herself to the bathroom before walking away in a hurry.

“Hello ladies.” Derek’s voice seemed distant now, as she made her way across the room, hiding away in a dim-lit corner.

She was scared he was drunk enough to say something he shouldn’t, like calling her _sis, _or _Spacey, _or any other stupid nickname that only people who know each other have. Casey thought she was safe enough there, hidden away behind a dusty unused table, but as a stumbling shadow made it’s way over to her, she had to reconsider her options. It was definitely Derek, his devil horns had made his silhouette quite obvious. Casey was cornered. He was coming at her _fast, _straightening out his posture as he walked, and there was really nowhere to escape to.

“Catwoman.” Derek mumbled in complete seriousness, stopping only when he was inches away from her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Casey replied, attempting to sound unimpressed. “Shouldn’t you be with your buddies? Or at a reunion with Alcoholic anonymous?”

“I thought I would come and say hi.” He was smiling now, and it seemed that a small laugh was caught in his throat.

It was the first time they were talking since God knows when, so was it wrong that Casey was enjoying it just a little bit? It would only be wrong to show it.

“And I thought we weren’t supposed to talk to each other.” Casey scoffed, folding her arms across her slightly bare chest “So why are you here?”

“No, no, you’re all confused.” Derek shook his head, running his hand through his messy nest of hair “I’m ignoring my step-sister, Casey. But she clearly isn’t here right now, because she’d never attend a party like this, especially wearing that…”

“Shut up, Derek.” She hissed. Oh, a part of her definitely missed this.

"Sorry, I'm here on a mission." Derek pointed to the plastic horns sticking out of his tangled hair "To raise Hell."

“Actually, I’ve never seen you wear a more fitting costume. Did you grow the horns yourself?”

“So clever.” He admmited “You almost sounded like Casey there for a minute.”

“How did you know it was me anyway?” 

“Please, Case.” His smile was wider and relaxed, which made Casey want to laugh a little too.“I could recognize those baby blues anywhere.”

Her heart raced slightly at that observation, but she ignored it. It was simply a manifestation of the tension irradiating from their encounter.

“You were pretty discrete out there too, you know?” She mocked, biting her tongue “Barely anyone was paying attention to the demon making a fool of himself on the dance floor.”

“At least someone asked me to dance.” His tone was mocking, but the comment stung more than Casey was willing to admit “At least someone noticed me.”

_Ouch._

Casey stared at him for a moment. She noticed his left hand resting on his accessory stick, which felt more like a cane by the way Derek was depending on it to walk, and the way his eyes looked glazed as if he was in a blissful daze. His lips were shiny, probably coated with leftover alcohol that Casey suddenly wished she could drink too. He smelled absolutely ridiculous, like cheap vodka and Halloween candy that had melted together- it was intoxicating. He was so fucking… _Sigh._

Casey paused to think about her next move for a few more seconds, before removing her mask completely, letting the elastic dangle in her hands.

“Well,” She cleared her throat, attempting to swallow the knot that had settled in the back of her throat “Masks off, Derek.”

And with that, she gracefully removed his plastic horns as well, as a confused Derek stared back at her.

“Now I’m back to being Casey and you’re back to being just slightly demonic Derek. Which means that now we can go back to ignoring each other.” Casey seriously doubted she had ever acted so cold towards him. All she could feel was pure resentment. “I don’t know you, you don’t know me.”

She didn’t wait for Derek to reply, and given his stunned expression, she doubted he would. Casey simply reached out to grab Derek’s arm, lifting his open palm towards her, and placed both his horns and her mask on it. And without any other words, she left him there, still stunned and still way too drunk to deal with it.

Her stomach turned as she made her way back to her room. Moments of warmth and casual happiness are _not _a relationship make, not that she was sure she could call that _thing _she had with Derek a _relationship, _it was more like a relation between two individuals who despised each other. Because they did, and maybe they always would. That moment had been more than enough to ground her back to the unwelcoming reality: she would never get along with Derek and that really pissed her off.

_Why did he have to make everything so complicated?_


	5. Lesson Learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thank you for all the love on the fic so far, ya'll are keeping the fandom alive
> 
> Some of you have only started reading this story recently, so I want to set an official timeline so it won’t get confusing lol. I know that in the first season they are 14/15 years old, and this story also starts somewhat around the 1st season (after the party episode, obviously) BUT this is a more of young adult story, so they are both in the 11th grade. Derek is 17 already (He’s a gemini sun/scorpio moon and you can’t change my mind) and Casey will be turning 17 soon too (I’m ignoring the fact that Derek had to repeat the 1st grade, forgive me). Hopefully this makes everything clear, but if you have any doubts or thoughts, let me know! Enjoy :)
> 
> PS: Casey is, in my opinion, a Scorpio sun/Virgo moon. Anybody who cares about astrology out here? Let's discuss!

Everything was shit. There was no other way around it- _everything was shit. _

Derek had barely slept on the weekend that followed the party, mostly because he had a monstrous hangover that seemed to last for most of it. He vomited right after waking up on Saturday (not a pretty picture), with his stomach contracting in pain, trying to expel everything he had eaten and drunken the night before. He still didn’t know what was in those flasks, and now it was pretty safe to assume it must have been something eerily close to _poison. _Not that it mattered anyway, on day two of the longest-hangover-ever-seen, he just wanted to sleep. Which he couldn’t because he still felt like shit. His body was definitely punishing him for his reckless behavior, and it was working, since it resulted in Derek’s empty promise to stay away from alcohol for a _long _time.

Maybe he was getting sick too. It were now the early days of November and the flesh-eating cold was settling as the recurrent weather, so it was very much possible that Derek was simply coming down with a nasty cold. Either that or he had really been poisoned. At that point, under three cozy blankets and armed with a puffy, unsexy pyjama Nora had gifted him last Christmas, he couldn’t give two fucks. Sick, poisoned, hangover’ed- it didn’t fucking matter. What mattered was that he had a sharp headache and that he couldn’t, for the life of him, get out of bed.

Saturday came and went, spent uselessly by Derek under the covers rethinking most of his life decisions. The faint, incomplete memories of the Halloween party plagued his brain like a virus. There wasn’t much he remembered, actually most of the night had been repressed by Derek’s drunken mind, but there were still a few things he was certain of:

1) Drinking; a lot (too much).

2) Dancing; badly.

3) Casey disguised as Cat woman?

The Casey memory was barely that, since it was about as foggy as the set of Twin Peaks. He was sure it had been just a fever dream until he found her black mask next to his bed. He touched it cautiously, afraid it would burn his fingers through the bone, and stared helplessly. Until then he had clung to the hope that it had been just a stupid dream, one he could file in his brain under [Casey dreams- Do **not **analyze], and not a real conversation with her. The details of their interaction remained vague and confusing, except for the way her eyes pierced through him from behind her mask and the way his own laugh rang in his ears- those details were painfully clear. Derek also remembered the discrete sound of her giggling, so maybe he wasn’t the only one laughing. _Oh, _and he also had the image of her lips trembling burning in his eyelids. It was the exact moment before she turned around and left him there, hopeless and dazed.

_I don’t know you, you don’t know me. _

Unfortunately, that sounded about right.

If only he could remember what the fuck he said to make her run away from him like that. From his inability to think about literally _anything _else, Derek concluded (on a sticky, raining Sunday morning), that he did feel bad about the way he left things with Casey. He had no idea why he behaved like that, but he was certain he didn’t mean to push it that far. Until then upsetting Casey was nothing more than a joyous hobby, a day to day escape from boredom, yet now he actually felt bad about it. If it wasn’t humanly impossible for Derek to say sorry, he worried he might just blurt it out the next time he saw her. Especially because he could imagine the storm he was in for when they crossed paths again. Casey was a very worthy opponent, and she could raise hell just by lifting her delicate fingertip, so Derek silently prayed for her to have the slightest of mercy on him.

That Sunday night Derek tricked his body into finally falling asleep, ignoring every dull and annoying ache that had now reached almost every limb. Another silent, unconscious prayer was summoned when he started dreaming about Casey. She was hovering over him, furiously holding his body down with a sharp spear clinging to her left hand, from which droplets of blood were raining down. He noticed the way his heart was thundering inside his chest, _thud thud thud, _and even though he couldn’t hear much besides the strain, tired hum of her laugh, some words seemed to float in-between. _Casey… I’m so sorry… Don’t do this. _

**You, **was all dream Casey had to say in response to his begs of mercy. There were about a million different ways to interpret that electrifying _you, _but Derek couldn’t get to any of them before he woke up, gasping and drenched in sweat. Now _that _had been a fever dream he would rather not analyze. Casey holding a murder weapon was theoretically hilarious, but Derek couldn’t even think about laughing. Just remembering the beastly glaze in her eyes was enough to make him start sweating again.

Every time he tried to go back to sleep, that broken _you _echoed around his head, keeping him wide awake. In truth, he didn’t need to analyze his visions. The message was clear: he had fucked up and as of next morning, things would probably never be the same again.

* * *

Monday morning

To the outside eye, the world hadn’t changed one bit.

The sky was cloudy, as if often was, stealing away any hints of sunlight. There were tired students running around campus, holding on to their knee-high socks and thick scarves on their way to class. Derek was among them, hurrying his step through the school since he had gotten out of bed about twenty minutes too late. The direct results were disastrous, untamed hair and the lack of will to live.

Casey was sitting at her usual seat, with her legs crossed tightly beneath her desk. She let out a soft, annoyed huff the moment Derek barged into the classroom, discreetly following him with her eyes until he took a seat at the back. He mumbled a disgraced _Sorry _to the teacher out of reflex, before sitting down and basically hiding behind his backpack. It definitely wasn’t ridiculous the way Casey made him feel so small, and it wasn’t pathetic that he was hiding his face from her as if he were scared to find a sharp spear trapped between her hands. Thankfully there wasn’t anything ridiculous about any of it.

For the rest of the day, Derek avoided Casey like the plague. His integrity was still very much compromised after that devastating hangover, and Derek had no plans to damage it any further. He couldn’t even bring himself to flirt with her friends, even if they were begging for his attention. Normally he would love it and immediately bite their bate, but that morning everything felt so out of place that Derek worried their reality would simply break.

Apparently three days without sleeping could really make a guy drown in absurdity. Deep down, the world was still as it was. Casey was mad and Derek would just have to make her _unmad _again. It wouldn’t be easy, Casey was still very passionate about hating him and the idea of them pretending to be strangers, but surely he could think of something that would make her hate him a little less.

In a weird way, her reaction was already a victory. It was far better than her ignoring him (because that’s what really hurt his ego).

Maybe Derek just liked knowing that in a bizarre, dysfunctional way, he _mattered_ to Casey.

* * *

The real trouble however, started on Thursday. It was raining, unsurprisingly, and Derek had been held up after his French class. He was sitting on his desk, drumming with his fingers nervously against his thighs, waiting impatiently for Mrs. Morris to come back from her smoke break (Derek only wished he could’ve gone with her). He had no idea why he was being held up,for once in his life he didn’t think he had done anything wrong. There had been a test the previous week and even though he knew he wouldn’t do well on it, he didn’t try to cheat. In all honesty, the anticipation was building in the pit of his stomach and Derek couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so nervous around a teacher. He really didn’t feel like himself.

“Mr. Venturi.” The teacher called, grounding him back to reality.

She walked towards her desk and sat down, motioning for Derek to sit in the front next to her. The idea of sitting in Casey’s seat tempted him for a few seconds, but he brushed it aside, opting to sit closest to Mrs. Morris’ desk instead.

“You failed your test.” She said, very unceremoniously.

_Oh._

“Oh.” The word came out more like a whisper than what he intended to. Derek at least appreciated her honesty. He cleared his throat and proceeded “Yeah, I’m really sorry about that, I didn’t have time to study…”

“You can stop, Mr. Venturi.” She interrupted, twisting her face until she looked like an old frog “Mrs. Hastings already showed me your school report. Apparently you haven’t had time to study since the 8th grade.”

“I’m very busy.” Derek managed to choke out before attempting to smile in the most innocent way possible.

“I bet you are.” Mrs. Morris nodded in fake agreement “But at this school, I’m afraid you’ll have to try a little harder. You can’t fail anymore, Derek.”

“I-I won’t fail again, I promise.”

“If only I believed you.” She sighed “Unfortunately, I don’t. So I spoke to Isabel about your case.”

Derek felt his knees nearly give out. He wasn’t afraid of detention, nor was he afraid of the threat of expulsion, but just picturing his father’s face if he was ever shipped back home was enough to make his legs tremble with uncertainty.

“And…?” Now that was definitely a hoarse whisper.

“And we will assign you a tutor.”

“Oh, that sounds fair.” _And boring._

“We discussed it for a while, and I think we’ve managed the perfect solution for you.”

Maybe it would be a hot senior who would just happen to fall in love with him too- if only life were that kind.

“We think Casey would make a great tutor for you.” She smiled, as if there was anything to smile about.

“C-Casey?” He repeated, hoping he had misheard the news or that his teacher was talking about another Casey (_any _other Casey).

“Yes, Casey MacDonald. She’s your step-sister, right?” Derek nodded unhappily “Great, so you two already get along. She’s a dedicated, enthusiastic student, and I think you would most definitely benefit from this arrangement, Mr.Venturi.”

_Oh no._

“Listen, Mrs. Morris…” He had no idea where he was going with that sentence, he only hoped he could invent some bullshit to convince her to do _anything _else. “I hear you, loud and clear, I need to study harder and that I will do. It’s a Venturi guarantee.”

“Mr. Venturi, I’m not going to spend another minute of my precious lunch break discussing this with you.” His teacher warned, looking away absently, in search of another cigarette inside her enormous handbag “If you have any further problems, go bother Mrs. Hastings instead.”

Derek rubbed his arm nervously, digesting all that was being said.

“Have you spoken with Casey about this yet?”

“No no, not yet, but I’m not at the least concerned about it.”

_Well, at least one of us isn’t._

“I think Ms. MacDonald has proven she’s receptive to school-related activities, and mentions of extra-credit may tempt her to take up my offer.” She was now holding her cigarette, clearly eager to be left alone.

Derek was dying to get out there too, the air had become thicker and increasingly harder to breathe through, and he found himself struggling for breath.

“I won’t take any more of your time.” He politely said, standing up on his still very unsteady legs.

“Lighten up, Mr. Venturi.” The teacher smiled with her crooked mouth at Derek, who was already leaning against the doorframe ready to leave “I think you will enjoy Ms. MacDonald’s company.”

Derek nodded out of sheer politeness, his lips pressed together in a disguised frown. He hated that she had said that. He hated the way Casey’s image lingered in his brain when Mrs. Morris mentioned her, nibbling on her pencil, arched over her books… _Doesn’t she understand that that’s exactly what he is scared of? Enjoying her company._

* * *

Thankfully, Casey wasn’t making that easy.

On that same Thursday, as daylight faded into an indigo blue mist, Casey ran into Derek. More like she personally sought him out, making her way around campus with a very heated expression printed on her face. Derek saw her coming from a mile away, he could recognize her anywhere with her high knee socks and grey uniform skirt, both impeccably ironed. Her hair was slightly curly, maybe due to the light rain that had plagued that afternoon.

He was standing outside the old ice rink, leaning against the wall, lazily holding a cigarette while half-listening to Parker gloat about his _incredible _game stats. Derek wondered if he should perhaps hide his cigarette from her to prevent a lecture on why smoking is _so _bad for him, but decided against it. He wanted to shock her with his new filthy habit; anything was reason enough to earn a reaction out of her.

Truth was, Derek half-expected her to get freaked out about approaching him in broad daylight, especially with Parker right next to him, but unfortunately Casey held a stable reputation as a fearless, get-everything-her-way kind of girl. Derek usually appreciated that, unless it didn’t benefit him, as it most often didn’t. Her pace was steady and determined, her long legs swaying side to side as she came closer. In the blink of an eye, she was already standing right in front of him, with fury glowing in her misty eyes, and Derek was suddenly very much aware of her sweet scent and how his own fingers trembled when he tried to secure the cigarette.

“Derek.” She said dryly, not bothering to acknowledge Parker. “A word, please.”

Derek nodded immediately, giving Parker a lazy head nod before following her until they were somewhat hidden behind an old tree. He took a deep drag of the cigarette, let the smoke fill his mouth and lungs, and put it out, stepping on it a few times with his dirty sneakers.

“Casey…” He awkwardly choked out when he faced her “Hi.”

“Shut up, Derek.” She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. “I can’t believe you failed your stupid French test. I can’t believe I have to be your stupid tutor, because you’re so… SO…”

“Stupid?” He added, hoping to make her laugh. He had no such luck.

“So_ fucking _stupid.”

Derek didn’t exactly know how, but her eyes were now reflecting the exact purplish shade of the sky (it was terrifying how she did that).

“Casey, did you actually say yes to this?” He asked, rubbing his temples.

She looked surprised at his accusation. What was she supposed to do? Disrespect a teacher and lose an opportunity to improve her future C.V? _As if. _

“Well… Yes. I had to! Mrs. Morris insisted that I help you, that it would be good for you, blah blah blah. I’m only doing this for the extra-credit Venturi, so you better behave or else I’m going to rip your hollow heart right out of your chest.”

Derek had the sudden urge to laugh, not because it was particularly funny, but because it reminded him of his delusional dream with her. _She may as well be holding that spear right about now_. He suppressed his urge with a husky cough, watching her attentively.

“We’re meeting tomorrow night at the library, 9 pm. Don’t be late. Don’t talk. Don’t even think about breathing around me…”

"You’re taking this really well, Case.” Derek interrupted, grinning like a little boy.

_“_Fuck you, Venturi.”

“See you tomorrow, Casey.” He smiled, annoyingly charming.

Casey rolled her eyes at his nonchalant attitude. _Didn’t he care at all about how unbelievably mad she was? _

Apparently not, because he was still smiling, right until the very moment she started walking away from him.

But, much to his pleasure, she turned around.

She flattened her shirt, took a deep breath and with a venom dotted voice said “You should stop smoking. It’s really bad for you.”

Which made Derek laugh.

* * *

Casey meticulously combed her hair with her fingers. Obsessively touching her hair whenever she was impatient or nervous was a weird habit of hers, one of those you couldn’t shake off no matter how hard you tried. Right now she was a bit of both: impatient because Derek was officially four minutes late, and nervous because the thought of her being his tutor suddenly struck her as a really bad idea. Not because Casey doubted her teaching capacities, she had great confidence in herself, but because it was _Derek _ who she was tutoring.

Lazy, obnoxious, uncooperative Derek.

It wouldn’t go well, _obviously_, and she would be the one to take on the repercussions of his failures. Also, people would see them together, which would be weird and lead to uncomfortable assumptions. Small boarding schools were the perfect environment for rumors to really grow and flourish. Keeping their meetings a secret would be nearly impossible, so Casey was just about ready for the gossip to start traveling around. 

Her hand rested on her thigh, attempting to control the restless burning inside her. Derek should’ve been there by now. Even if he was trying to annoy her, which was the most obvious reason for his tardiness, almost ten minutes were sufficient to make his point.

Just as she was about to get up and leave, Derek appeared. He was making his way over to the table with his hands burrowed deep in his pockets and a somewhat serious expression drawn on his face. Casey knew that look, and it wasn’t nearly as menacing as he probably thought it was, it simply let her know that he was stopping himself from smiling. His hair was neatly combed with only a few wild waves of hair hung in front of his face, and he smelled good. His uniform was ironed and completely free of stains _and he smelled good. _Not that Derek reeked all the time or anything like that, but this wasn’t your usual deodorant and basic body wash combo; this was cologne, men’s cologne and it smelled ridiculously nice. The last time he had tried that hard to look good was when he finally scored a date with Lisa Henries (a voluptuous senior he could not stop talking about) back in September. And the last time he had that amount of shampoo or body wash on him was during their bathroom fight when they were locked in the bathroom.

In short, it was a rare occurrence that Casey seriously considered celebrating.

“Casey? You spaced out there a little there.” He said, a sly smile curving on his lips.

“Oh…” Casey swallowed, focusing back on reality “Sit. You’re ten minutes late, Venturi.”

“Maybe you’re just ten minutes early, Case.”

Derek winked, cocking his head to the left. Maybe he forgot he wasn’t talking to one of his conquests and that Casey wouldn’t melt under his fingers and words. Maybe he simply forgot to account for the fact that right now she despised him, so much so that her fingertips were trembling and her stomach was tight with knots. Rage. Probably.

“Let’s just get to work before I regret this.” She sighed, grabbing her book and notes.

“Why did you agree to do this?”

“Because I had to.” Derek was pushing her, she knew it, he was playing games and getting her on edge to delay actually having to study. “Why did you fail the stupid test?”

“Because I’m dumb.” He breathed out fast, rubbing his chin.

“You’re not.” She shook her head “I wish you were; that’d be simpler. You’re just lazy.”

“Outrageous.”

“Obvious.” Casey huffed, running her fingers through her hair. “Not counting the times when you’re holding a hockey stick, you never work hard. And you only try hard at that because you’re allowed to act like a gorilla on steroids. You don’t take anything seriously, Derek, so don’t bullshit me.”

Those words shouldn’t have hurt. They should have flown by him before dissolving into thin air without a second thought. He knew he was lazy, had always been, and he did appreciate the chaotic nature of hockey. It was all true, so maybe that was the reason why it felt like Casey had just struck him in the guts with a dull knife. _Ouch._

He was sure he was frowning now, which should have satisfied her in the least. And if she was, she wasn’t showing it. Her plump lips were pursed and her eyebrows were furrowed together in concentration. There wasn’t so much as a hint of a smile; nothing.

“I can take things seriously; I simply choose not to. Life’s more fun this way. You should try it.” Casey did _not _appreciate the sarcastic tone in his voice.

“Is it fun, Derek? To breathe through life without a care, without a passion, without making _any _meaningful connections? To know that at the end of the day everyone is disappointed with you? You must be having a blast.”

Derek took a deep breath. Did Casey really want to go there? To argue about the bullshit meaning of life and present her three-point argument of why she was so much better than him?

“Very fun indeed, Case.” He spit out, forcing a smile “Much more fun than spending every second of every day perfecting myself to live up to an impossible standard of glorious success. You want to be admired so freaking much that you forget that people should like you too, not just look up to you as the holy grail of perfectionism. Would you consider those meaningful connections, Casey?”

“You are such a fuckhead.” She sighed, not sure if she should scream or cry. Little did he know how lonely she really felt. “The only meaningful thing you do is ruin other people’s lives just to get your way.”

“Oh yeah, I’m the one always trying to get their way. That’s rich coming from the suburban princess who manipulates everyone around them.”

“I don’t… I don’t do that!” Casey stuttered, blowing air out of her nose. “You really have no self-awareness whatsoever, Derek, I don’t know why I bother.”

“Stop deflecting. I know who I am and I’m okay with that.” _Lie. _“You, on the other hand, are just a mix of everyone else’s unrealistic expectations and your own insecurities. You need to get over what everyone else wants from you and just be whoever the fuck you want to be.”

Casey was silent. Derek was slightly out of breath, his chest rising rapidly. His mouth was so dry even his throat felt like sandpaper. He hadn’t had time to feel sorry for what he was saying, but he knew it was harsh. Not that Casey could be absolved either, she really trying her hardest to sting him with her words, and somehow it was working.

“Don’t pretend you want me to change.” She said, chewing on her lips “You like that I’m useful to you. Every time you fuck up, you rely on me to help you or to at least share the blame! You always to me for help; I always have to clean your fucking messes! That’s exactly what’s happening right now: you failed your test, and I’m here wasting my Friday night at the library with you.”

“As opposed to being at a party or hanging out with friends?” Derek scoffed.

“Fuck you. That’s not the point.”

“I didn’t choose to be here with you either.” He whispered, almost like he didn’t want Casey to hear him.

“Then don’t be.” Casey smiled “Since I’m just so unlikeable, how about you get back to your great parties with those hockey ogres and get out of here, huh?”

Silence.

Derek had his hand on the back of his neck, massaging his tender skin.

“So, I ruined your life, huh?” He cleared his throat, speaking softly.

“Mostly.” Casey frowned “Because of you I had to move houses and schools _twice _in just a few months. You’ve made my life hell. And now we’re here and I’m alone.”

“You’re not alone…” He tried to say before he was interrupted.

“I am. I can’t count on you, Derek. I think we both know that by now.”

There was a certain sadness to her voice that Derek wished he hadn’t noticed. He wanted to lie to her, tell her she wasn’t alone and that he was sorry, but it wouldn’t mean anything- and she wouldn’t believe it either. So he watched her silently, wondering if he was maybe imagining the tears welling in her big eyes.

She sniffled before speaking.

“I think I’m gonna go.”

“What?”

“Yeah.” She sniffled again, collecting her books before she handed Derek a neat stack of paper “Here are my notes for this semester. Read them if you want, we’ll do this some other time.”

“Casey…” He said, almost like a prayer. Absolution sounded great right about now.

But it was all in vain. Casey rarely changed when she set her mind to something. Before he could call out to her again, she was already long gone. _Well, this went well._

Derek felt bile and spit rise up in his throat, forcing him to swallow it back down. He wasn’t sure what he could do now; realistically it seemed like a sure dead-end. Truth was, Derek wasn’t born with the power of reconciliation, usually people just forgave him because he could charm his way out of trouble. But of course, with Casey it was different. They were immune to each other’s charms and powers, which made everything a thousand times more difficult. Now he really had no idea how, and if he could even fix this.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled under his breath, rubbing his temples.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I an evil piece of shit for making them fight like that? Yes. 
> 
> But Rome wasn't built in a day and "enemies" to lovers is a long road to take. Lots of exciting stuff coming up soon, specifically Casey's birthday, because what could go wrong there, am I right ladies?


	6. Seventeen candles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi! Long time, no fucking see! I have been absent (and a bad person for it), but here I am. The world is out there burning and I’m writing fanfiction through a global pandemic. In all seriousness though, I hope you all and your loved ones stay safe out there! I also hope you enjoy this chapter, even though it’s kind of serious and not really the breezy, light entertainment we might want to be reading right now. Let me know how you feel about it, I read every single review you guys leave me, so feel free to write anything down there :)  
Stay happy and safe!

"Yes mom, I know my birthday is tomorrow." Casey sighed "It's kind of hard to forget your own birthday."

She had been on the phone with Nora for about twenty minutes now, occupying the time by pacing around the room and doing her daily stretches. Nora had been updating her daughter on all that had happened in the last few days back home. It wasn't much, but Casey appreciated hearing all of it. So far, Edwin had lucked out with a date to the school's winter dance (which he attributed to his lucky shirt and socks, that Nora gracefully washed without his consent), and had also officially taken over Derek's living room chair. Apparently, he was having a good time without his big brother, and dictator, around (not that Casey could blame him). Lizzie was refusing to go to the winter dance since she had no interest in finding a date or dancing in front of anybody. Casey only wished she was there to encourage her little sister to go and have fun. Nora was very well-intentioned but lacked skills when it came to dealing with Lizzie's prepubescent emotions. And no matter how different they were, Casey always believed she understood her little sister better than their mom.

Marti was having the best time out of all of them. She was now going through a cat phase, a barbie phase and somehow a pirate phase too. Casey could only imagine what went on inside that kid's brain most of the time. She wondered if Lizzie and Edwin were taking as good care of her as Derek did. No matter what bad things she thought of Derek, there was no denying he was a great brother to Marti; there was no one as patient with her as he was. She probably missed him a lot, but Nora didn't mention it and Casey purposely forgot to ask.

On Casey's side, it was all very much the same. Good grades, slight boredom since she couldn't join any activities and lots of journaling. She deliberately also forgot to tell her mom she was now Derek's French tutor. Nothing good would come out of sharing that information since Nora would just be thrilled that they're bonding and spending together. If only. After their disastrous first attempt at a study session, Derek had made some half-hearted attempts at conversation and Casey let him- she was too discouraged to keep fighting. They hadn't scheduled another session yet and Casey had to lie to Mrs. Morris to cover it up- _"Oh yeah, it's going great. He'll do much better on the next test!"_

Now Nora was asking Casey about her birthday the very next day. The big seventeen. It made her cringe just thinking about it. Time was going by so fast, one more trip around the sun and she'd officially be an adult. _Oh God._ Despite the fact that Casey had always loved her birthday, this year she didn't want to celebrate. Why would she when she was far from her family and her friends? A celebration would only remind her of how alone she truly felt. She had grown to like the girls on her floor, most of them anyway, but it wasn't enough for her to want to organize a dinner with them. So, she would have a lowkey day at school and maybe a cafeteria slice of cake at dinner.

"Mom, I'm really not doing anything tomorrow." Casey insisted, now filing her nails on her bed "I know it's a Friday but I just don't feel like celebrating."

"But it's your seventeenth birthday, Casey! It's bad enough I'm not there with you, the least you can do is have some fun."

"I'll think about it." She said, but what she really wanted to say was _If you wanted to spend time with me, you shouldn't have sent me to a boarding school hours away from home. _Turns out almost two months at the school had awakened some feelings of resentment on her behalf.

"I bought you something and I think you're really going to enjoy it!" Nora breathed out, probably beaming "I'll give it to you over the Christmas break."

"Sure, that sounds great."

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Her mother asked, unsure. "You sound upset."

"No no, I just… I just miss you guys, that's all."

"We miss you too, Casey." _Awkward silence_ "Have you seen Derek, by the way? Is everything all right with him? George has been trying to call him for a few weeks now but he never picks up."

"Yeah, I-I see Derek around. We have a few classes together. As far as I know, he's okay."

"Can you ask him to call us?"

"Sure." Casey cleared her throat uncomfortably "I'll let him know."

"Thank you, honey." There was a hint of relief in her voice "Listen, I have to go. Edwin is demanding for me to sew the hole in his lucky shirt."

Casey chuckled.

"Good luck with that. Bye, mom."

"Bye, Casey. I'll call you tomorrow, my birthday girl! Love you."

"Love you." She sighed, hanging up the phone.

Casey lied back in bed, staring absently at the ceiling. She missed her family, even the one she had only recently gained. She missed Lizzie asking her for advice and hugging her goodnight every single night. She thought of Marti and wondered if she had grown up at all since they left or if Nora had tried cutting her bangs in the kitchen sink again, and she definitely wondered what the hell kind of princess pirates she was into now. She even thought of Edwin, probably taking up the role of the little leading man of the house, avoiding chores and ordering Marti to make him sandwiches like Derek did to him. She wondered if George had finally fixed the hole in the living room ceiling and if he thought of her at all. Probably not, since she wasn't his daughter, not really. Even though it took a lot to get used to it, Casey missed little snippets of her life back in London. It was so different from the prestigious organization of her earlier days in Toronto, but now she was worlds away from both of those times. And the distance only seemed to grow more every day she spent at the school.

And soon enough, with only a few hours to go, she would be seventeen and lonelier than ever. She definitely missed the noise and chaos of the house. It was great to always have so many people around because that meant she was never truly alone. But that was before. Now she was in her room, definitely alone with only silence filling the space around her. Maybe if Derek and her were friends, she wouldn't feel so alone. He'd keep her company, watch movies with her and pretend he liked listening to her rant about her day. But then again, if they were friends, they wouldn't be in that situation at all.

* * *

The pain on her side started in the middle of the night. It was just uncomfortable at first, an ache that hummed quietly but constantly. Unpleasant, sure, but not enough to fully wake her up, just enough to make her sway in-between consciousness and sleep for a while. Then it got worse. Maybe like a needle pricking at her skin, over and over again, reaching a new depth every time she tried to close her eyes. All of it was making her sick. The nausea was rippling through her whole body, as noted by the bits of vomit that rose quickly up to her throat. Her eyes shot open as she tried to swallow it back down. Her brain alerted her to sit up and her body tried to follow the order, clumsily moving around the bed. Casey took in a deep, excruciating breath that burned through her ribs and exhaled loudly.

_What the actual fuck was going on?_

Her head seemed to weigh a ton on her shoulders, and she was pretty sure she was running a fever too. Casey held on to her side tightly as her stomach contracted, warning her that now was the time to get up and run towards the bathroom. The world was spinning ruthlessly around her as she vomited what felt like her entire guts out. Now she was getting worried. Never had she experienced such an overwhelming amount of pain or felt generally that unwell.

Casey dragged herself back to bed slowly, still hanging on to her right side as if her life depended on it (which right now, it could) and rested her feverish, sweaty body against her soft bedcovers. She thought about calling her mom again, just to have someone tell her what to do, but it was well past 4 am now and Nora did not deserve to be woken up to her daughter possibly dying. _Okay, _she probably wasn't dying, but it sure as hell felt like it.

By the time the sun rose outside her window, Casey had vomited another two times and the pain was now nearly impossible to deal with. She slowly put her uniform on, taking turns sitting on her bed with her hand pressed against her lower abdomen before heading to class. It would pass, she told herself, as she limped all over campus. _It's my birthday and I'm okay._

Derek glanced over at her during English class, cocking his head in curiosity. Casey had her head rested on her hands and her eyes half-closed, drowsy with tiredness and intoxicating nausea. He thought about asking her what was wrong, maybe even wishing a happy birthday (he remembered it when he was in the shower that morning), but it didn't feel right or even real. Maybe later.

"Are you okay, Casey?" Lindsay asked before their lunch break, narrowing her brown eyes at the sight of her friend bent forward with her hand glued to her stomach.

"Just a really bad stomach ache," Casey assured, forcing a weak smile.

"You really don't look well. Maybe you should go to the school's nurse during the lunch break." She rested a hand on Casey's shoulder "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No no, thank you Linds, I'll just pass by there fast. Thanks."

None of them had wished Casey a happy birthday yet. Well, in all fairness none of them knew it was even her birthday, but it still upset her (just a little bit). Just because she wasn't in the mood to celebrate doesn't mean she wouldn't appreciate a few nice words about the occasion. _I knew today wouldn't go well, _she thought to herself, already standing outside the nurse's office.

The door of her office was open but before Casey could even say anything, her head started spinning and she started losing control on her limbs all at once.

_I'm about to pass out. Shit._

The world fell silent around her as everything turned dark, her body falling forward and hitting the floor.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed until she was able to open her eyes again.

"Casey?" Someone called with a voice distant and low. Casey couldn't tell who it was that was talking to her. "You're on the way to the hospital, dear. We think you have appendicitis. Can you hear me?"

Casey tried to nod. Her head was weighing her down like she was being held at the bottom of a well.

"Good." They answered. "I've already let your mother know, she'll meet you there. Derek will go with you and wait there for your family, okay?"

_Derek? D-e-r-e-k? _Couldn't be. It was impossible. Her body was too weak for her to get up but a surge of electricity got her to focus on her surroundings.

She was inside an ambulance, lying down on a stretcher. There was a blanket covering her and the smell of disinfectant mixed with medicine made her stomach turn. The pain of her side was irradiating through her body, pulsating furiously. Her eyes were begging to close again but there was something else calling out to her. The ambulance doors were opened, so she knew she wasn't moving yet, and outside stood someone who looked eerily similar to Derek, talking to Mrs. Hastings. What was he doing there? _Couldn't he leave her alone, not even in her worst moments?_

* * *

Derek forced himself to look away and not think. He was sure that if he slipped, if he lost concentration or let himself go for even just one second, he would snap. It had been a long time since he'd last felt that same hot burn in his eyes, the loud and irreversible warning that he was already at his limit and about to do the unspeakable. Yet he recognized it right away as if no time had passed at all, as the warm and familiar sensation took over him faster than he could stop it. And there it was: Derek Venturi was about to cry. He bit his lip in an effort to slow down the urge until he sensed the tang of fresh blood against his teeth and tongue. Usually, that did the trick since it was a distraction painful enough for his brain to forget about everything else. And for a moment it did work, the ache at the back of his head cleared and the burn inside his tear ducts ceased, but it wasn't long before it was all undone again.

He wasn't okay.

For once, the motion inside the ambulance was making him sick. He didn't want to be there, not really, nor did he want to be anywhere else. At least now he was closer to accepting the facts, since the more he dwelled on it (despite begging his brain to think about literally _anything _else), the more he saw shit clearly: that day, that cold yet sunny Friday was somehow a test and he _had _to be there for it.

It was indeed a beautiful, autumnal Friday.

It was also her birthday.

_Her._

His chest tightened at the thought. Derek would've given anything to be able to hate her at that moment. He longed to feel the bitterness that filled his mouth when he was angry and petty, searching desperately in the depths within him for the strength to hate her. Or even to just mildly dislike her. _Just a little; _just so he wouldn't care so fucking much.

There was nothing though, nothing but the stillness inside one who does not hate at all, not even a fucking little. Amidst the chaos, there was calm. That's how he knew his desires were empty and, in all honesty, a lie. A big, useless and disgusting lie. Of course he didn't hate her, he wasn't even sure if he _could _ever hate her. But he certainly loved to pretend that he did, that he despised her, the way little boys and girls love to play house and act like grown-ups, even when they have no idea what life is actually like. It was all one big act for him too. A way to pass the time, a way to cheat himself into not caring and ultimately, a way to hide.

Casey groaned in pain, alerting him and dragging him back to the nasty reality. She was lying down on the stretcher in front of him, her icy blue eyes red from crying and her face white from nausea. Derek wanted to look away but couldn't bring himself to do it. Not like this, not when she was in this much pain and he felt none at all. And before he knew it, there were tears blurring his vision again. _Don't, not in front of her, _he begged himself, hoping the awake slice of his conscience would oblige.

The middle-aged paramedic was still talking to her, trying to ease her pain and work in some casual conversation. Even in the state she was, Casey was apparently still too polite to tell him to fuck off. Derek wasn't sure he would've held back so much if he were in her position. She was no longer crying now, just sniffling and blinking away what lasted of her tears. Her skin glistened with them still, just below her eyes and around her cheeks, but she didn't seem to care.

"Just try to breathe through the pain, okay?" The paramedic told her, flashing a creased smile that made his forehead wrinkle. "I know it's a lot and appendicitis is a real bitch but this happens all the time, all right? The surgery is as simple as taking a band-aid off; in a few hours you'll be just fine."

"Why did I pass out?" She questioned, rubbing her temples.

"Most likely due to low blood pressure and glucose levels. You haven't eaten all day, have you?" She shook her head no "Well then that was it. You'll be okay soon though, just rest now."

Derek was unsure who the man was trying to calm down. Casey appeared indifferent to his words (Derek knew better than to believe the coy smile in her response) but they definitely helped him.

Yes, she would be okay, _duh. _It was so glaringly obvious now that someone else had said it.

It was suddenly uncomfortable to remember the sheer panic he had felt just by seeing her like this, so weak and small, in so much pain that she barely noticed he was right there with her. Though maybe she was ignoring him because by now she knew better than to count on him. And maybe that's why she hadn't spoken to him since the ambulance came to get her. At least for that he was thankful because he really didn't know what to say then. He had no idea what would be appropriate or right in that situation and he had never been one to do the right or appropriate thing anyway.

But he knew what he _wanted _to tell her and maybe if they were different people he could have said it all without consequences.

The words sizzled underneath his tongue as if daring him to speak them, which he was scared he might just do if she happened to ask him what he was thinking. They were the most terrifyingly simple and raw thoughts he could never force himself to say out loud: _I'm here. I care. Look at me._

Yet they were still themselves, which meant he'd never actually say it, and she stayed silent too.

He was a coward and they both knew it.

* * *

They dragged her into the surgery room immediately upon their arrival. That was the thing about appendicitis, Derek learned, even though it was a minor and usual occurrence, urgency was still obligatory when treating it. So, as he was told very nicely by an overworked, ill-humored nurse, he would just have to sit and wait for Casey to come out of surgery.

"Silently, if possible." She added, not even bothering to hide her frown.

And so he waited. He sat in the waiting room and simply watched time go by. Some times he would get up and pace around the room, locking a _relaxed _facial expression that told others _I'm chilled, thank you very much, so there's no need to come see how I'm doing._ Other times he would empty his pockets in a useless search for some loose change so he could buy a snack from the vending machine. He regretted not bringing his wallet with him but it wasn't like he had had much time to gather up his things and leave school.

"_Derek, I need you to go with Casey to the hospital, okay?" Mrs. Hastings told him, giving him an encouraging, crooked thumbs up as they stood in the school entrance._

_He protested immediately._

"_What? No, absolutely not."_

"_You have to. I phoned her mother and she will meet you at the hospital, but for now I need you to be with Casey. You're her brother and…"_

"_I am _**_not _**_Casey's brother." There it was, the bitterness and violence of his emotions suddenly pooling in his mouth like vomit._

"_I don't care. Your step-mother specifically asked you to come, so you're going. Get in the ambulance."_

_And that was the end of that non-discussion. He swallowed the bile that had risen in his throat and sat inside with her_.

_She glanced over at him and squirmed in the stretcher._

"_What are you doing here, Derek?" Casey asked, more surprised than impatient._

"_I don't know."_

* * *

Usually, Derek managed a much better grip on himself than this. Today he was weaker, embarrassingly so, nervously squeezing the plastic cup he had taken from the water machine since it was the only thing he didn't have to pay for. He realized it was nearly 9 pm then and that he had been circling around the tiny hospital room for almost twenty minutes already. His legs were just starting to hurt and it had been hours since he had last eaten, which meant his stomach was just about ready to chew on its own walls.

Casey had gotten out of surgery about half an hour before then and thankfully didn't have to spend any time in the recovery room.

A doctor caught Derek in the hallway, leaning against the wall with his plastic cup, still filled to the brim with water. She approached him with a smile on her face, her dyed red hair swaying over her shoulders.

"Your girlfriend's surgery went well! You can see her in just a few minutes after the nurses set up her room." She said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Derek was thankful he hadn't been sipping the water, or else he would have choked right then and there. _Better in a hospital, _he supposed.

"Oh! That's so good to hear, thank you!"

She smiled before walking the other way. He paused, rethinking what had just happened: _what the fuck._ He had no fucking idea where those words or that voice came from, but unfortunately he was sure he was the one to say them. He definitely needed to lie down and rest. _What the fucking fuck._

The rest of the Venturi-McDonald clan would surely be arriving soon to see her, an exception to the visiting hours and hospital rules, and by then his courage, or whatever it was, might fade. _Madness._

His polo uniform shirt was sticking to his sweaty skin and the scent of disinfectant burned through his nostrils. It felt wrong to think and act that way, even if there was no one there to call him out on it. The compassion brooding inside him was simply unnatural. He shouldn't think that way about her. Not when she wasn't his sister; not when she wasn't even his friend. Trying to label the complicated _relationship _(for lack of a better word) he shared with Casey was like trying to shoot a target in the dark- he wouldn't get it right and would end up hurting himself.

He glanced over her bed. Casey looked peaceful still, resting as if nothing monumental had happened at all that day. Little did she know the restlessness and the lightning going off inside him at that moment; she was so blissfully unaware of everything around her and Derek envied her for it.

One question plagued him, playing on a loop again and again and again until he felt sick again:_ Just who was Casey to him?_

He shrugged the thoughts away. Now was not the time to be sensitive or vulnerable, he was sure of it. _But if not now, when?_

Soon she would awake from her sleep, look at him with her bright blue eyes and ask him just what the fuck he was doing just standing there. Because of course she would ask that, and she would be right. Visiting hours had ended long ago, and the only reason he hadn't been kicked out yet was that he pretended to be asleep the last time a nurse had come in to check Casey's vitals. He had been doing it too, unconsciously checking her heart rate and controlling her breathing through the numbers on the screen and the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest every time she took a breath. Until then everything was under control, Casey was doing okay and Derek was pretending that he was too.

"Hmmm" Derek heard a few minutes later.

The sound had emerged from Casey's throat, escaping through her pursed, dry lips.

Her eyes slowly fluttered opened as she blinked repeatedly, adjusting to the bright light above them. Derek swore his chest tightened a little when she looked at him, even though it was taking her a little longer to recognize him and her surroundings.

"Hey princess." He said slowly, trying to get a reaction out of her. She hated it when he called her that.

"Derek?" Casey breathed out, rubbing her eyes. "What…"

Her mouth closed again before she could finish her sentence.

"I was sent to annoy you until you woke up."

"Mission… Accomplished." She stuttered, scrunching her nose.

"How do you feel?"

"Alive, I think."

Derek smiled.

"Good enough."

There was so much Derek meant to say. Something like _I'm glad you're okay, _or maybe _I was worried about you. _Maybe she wouldn't believe it, he probably wouldn't have either if he heard it coming out of his mouth, but he wanted to let her know something.

He cleared his throat and tried not to choke on his own words.

"Was it bad? You know… The pain and surgery?"

"Yeah." Casey nodded, resting her hand on her side. "It was really strange. I'm okay now. It just feels weird to be here."

She probably meant to say it was weird being here alone with him, and Derek internally agreed. Everything about it was weird. The air was heavy with electricity and static, threatening to shock him if he just so happened to get too close to her.

"Hey, Case…" He called, taking in a deep breath "Happy birthday."

Her lips curled into a smile and Derek had to force himself to not smile too.

"How did you know?"

"I just did."

She laughed a little, just a little, just enough so that he would know he had done the right thing.

"Well, thank you. Top three worst birthdays of my life, that's for sure."

"I think it could easily be granted number one spot, but who am I to judge? When I turned fifteen I accidentally pissed my pants at my birthday party." Derek laughed, before realizing what he had just said. "Shit."

"You pissed your pants?" Casey roared with laughter until her cheeks turned a slight hue of red.

"What are the chances you're still high from your surgery and won't remember this?" He asked, frowning.

"I wouldn't count on that."

Derek was just about to speak when the door opened, revealing Nora and George coming into the room. Nora was abnormally pale and looked worried sick, and George simply appeared lost in the chaos, distracted as he often was. Nora really ran until Casey's bed, lowering herself to hug her daughter.

"Oh, Casey, I was so worried about you!" She sniffled, still embracing Casey.

"I'm okay mom, really. Everything's fine now."

"How unlucky to have appendicitis on your birthday. But happy birthday sweetie, I love you."

"You can say that again." Casey mumbled, sighing "Thanks mom, I've missed you."

"So have we, honey."

George approached the bed carefully.

"Hey, Casey. Happy birthday, dear!"

"Thanks, George." She smiled, freeing herself from her mother's arms so she could hug George too. "I can't believe you guys came here at night just to see me."

"Of course we did!" Nora said, "And the only reason we got here so late was that we had to find a last-minute babysitter for the kids and a hotel to sleep tonight."

Derek coughed discreetly in the corner.

"Yes, Derek, you're coming with us tonight." George nodded, stepping closer to him "How are you, son?"

The tension is the room was palpable.

"Just peachy, dad," Derek replied, giving his sarcastic smile. "But I'm actually really hungry since I haven't eaten in like… A day. So if we could get going soon, that'd be great."

Casey bit her lip. No part of her wanted to admit she was enjoying the company and that she was loathing the thought of sleeping completely alone in that hospital room. Derek could feel it too, her nervousness and how uneasy she felt about being alone. Unfortunately, there was nothing for him to do except think about nice things to say to her, only to end up saying none of them; _because that was useful!_

"Casey, you're coming home with us this weekend, okay? You too, Derek." Nora told them, holding her daughter's hand carefully to avoid touching her IV.

"Really?" Casey smiled, remembering how good it would feel to be back in her own bed, even if it was just temporary.

"Yes! Mrs. Hastings agreed it would be best for you to get better at home with us. We'll come pick you up tomorrow, okay?"

Casey nodded, her eyes still drowsy with sleep, suddenly begging her to close them. They both said their goodbyes to her shortly after a nurse came in to warn them that their time had run out and that they would have to leave now. Derek was last to leave, dragging himself slowly around the room.

"Happy birthday, Case."

He ended up saying, just before he awkwardly waved at her and closed the door behind him.

Casey burrowed her head on the uncomfortable hospital pillow. Maybe it was the after-surgery medically induced bliss talking, but she felt fine. Even though it had been one of the most chaotic days of her life, around her it all seemed good still. She was seventeen and a bit lonely, but everything wasn't so bad after all. _And may this last, because I need something good._


End file.
